Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

my hopi indian friend, binky person called yesterday. i’ve spoken of him on lordflea before, about how ironic it is for me, a person who writes and arts, lives in the congested East Coast of America, yet holds true the sacred of all beings in my heart as the most important things to cherish–that binky and i happened to meet.

protector of us All--the Inner Spirit

protector of us All--the Inner Spirit

it was all because of my other indian pal, an acoma from outside albuquerque, named petuuche. petuuche is a very worldly, well-travelled man who is the official historian of his people. i met Petuuche (his name from a sacred rock formation) whom i met years ago while covering an interesting story about how the Acoma were finally able to buy back their tribal lands, taken away by the greedy white men who thought the “savages” ought to be separated from the rest of the new country of America. Finally, after years of poverty, alcoholism, and desperate no-hope isolated living, many indigenous peoples of America, the Acoma included, are now able to accumulate the wealth needed to live like human beings among the others who have taken over their lands. How? the gambling industry, that’s how!

Hooray for the white peoples’ almost universal tendency to become addicted, because with so many gambling addicts afoot, the indigenous are finally able to buy back, bit by bit, piece by piece, the sacred lands of their ancestors that were taken from them, by legal treaties, back in the 18th Century, and divied out to ranchers.

Now petuuche’s tribe, the Acoma of Sky City, who dedicate their intention-based lives to praying for all humanity, have managed to re-appropriate what was theirs to begin with. Kudos to the gambling industry! I think all gambling should belong to the Native Americans. Let the entire city of Las Vegas be owned by them, and the world will finally have a smidgin of karmic justice.

Guardian of the People's Spirit

Guardian of the People's Spirit

So Petuuche is the one who introduced me to Binky Person, who is the opposite of a worldly, sophisticated, well-travelled person. He himself has replaced alcoholism with a deep spiritual practice, as he is a guardian of the old ways that many of his people have forgotten, as they drift through life in the haze of wanting-consumerism and practicing alcoholism, his fellow hopies so isolated and so out of hope, being one of the unfortunate indigineous tribes who have no gambling casinos.

the hopi have no gambling casinos and hardly anything else, but the energy to get up each morning and walk to their corn patch, as Binky does, and watch his plants grow, splash a little water on them to help them along. And splash a little water on his own face to remind him why he’s here.

The hopi have few means to lift themselves up, and many are sunk into an alcoholic miasmi of forlorn isolation, as many Native Americans are prone to alcoholism–a genetic blip perhaps, or the result of their situation? Binky tries to organize the people to do runs, to honor their old ways; but mostly he’s met with resistance, ridicule, and scorn. Why? Because his fellow hopis want what the rest of America has–things! possessions! opportunities! education! possibilities!

Binky and I, when we speak, talk of how we both strive to balance both these things in our own lives–dedicating our lives to serving Great Spirit yet embracing all that’s good about modern ways. After all, I remind Binky, “You are speaking to me on a cell phone, aren’t you?” And we do have many good things that have resulted from people WANTING things. The issue is … balance:

reach for the stars, but stay grounded

reach for the stars, but stay grounded

Petuuche knew of my affinities with the Natives, having native blood mixed in with mine, as a lot of us half-breeds do, being typical “american mutts” as i think even Obama has called himself. Petuuche told me to call Binky, because I wanted to offer my support in the endeavor Binky was trying to get going out in his neck of the woods–out in the villages and scattered groups of hopi who live close to the Black Mesa in Arizona, near where the oldest still-inhabited town of America is–Old Araibi.

When I first spoke to Binky and told him that I support his work, and wanted to send him a small check to show my support in a small way, he actually cried. This grown man wept at the heart-to-heart understanding I was offering him, on the telephone, with him not owning anything but the cell phone we spoke on, and a humble house in which he lived with an adult son who suffers Down Syndrome, no doubt the result of his mother’s rampant alcoholism, who abandoned Binky when the son was age 3 in order to drink alone, away from responsibility, without restraint.

and so binky and i have become recently become friends. we speak on the phone. i share and empathize with his battle, similar to the one i feel i’m in as a dedicated spiritual warrior who arts. i suggest he do some sun salutes for his aching back. to let go of his tormetors, his criticizers. to detach from negativities. i sent him a little book showing how to do a simple Iyengar sun salute. he says his back is much better, thanks. he tells me things i feel i need to here also, to be reminded of. like how we all need to splash a little water on our face, just to remember our connection to water, to the good Earth that brings forth the water. and plant some seeds. and grow some corn, some beans. keep it simple, sweetheart!

you’ll hear me speak of binky every now and then. we all need to know someone like a binky. he keeps us grounded during these times that are so economically difficult for many. because for people like binky, nearly all the indigenous peoples who have had their lands, their honor, their very humanness taken away by the greedy conquerors from far away–they have learned to focus on the connection to what they call the Mystery–Great Spirit–or, God if you will–that force that is the center of our being here. the only thing that matters, in the end.

the JOY of spiritualizing mundane life

the JOY of spiritualizing mundane life

Even if everyone else forgets, which is how binky feels, we must always remember we are One. sadly, binky sees so many of his fellow Hopis lost in alcoholism, lost in the dream, unreachable at the moment, of wanting to be just like the people they see on television, the ones with stuff stuff stuff. and binky needs to hear me when i tell him to not give up on his less zealous (about HIS projects) fellow hopis. perhaps their time will come when they will reawaken to the ancient ways, the rituals, the intentionality, as binky so desires for his people.  myriad possibilities lie ahead for ALL humankind, as we help each other spiritualize, instead of being focused on the material side of life. let’s remember to help each other more, instead of find fault. we need to remember that all of us are warriors, and the fight we are in is about helping humankind remember that Spirit is the only issue of lasting, real importantance in our life.

Join the Army of Love

Join the Army of Love

leave the politics and the economics and all the other way-too-complicated stuff to the leaders that we spent so much energy on getting elected.

LET GO LET OBAMA.

if YOU want to be happy during this hard transition time, please come close to the inner Self, the Spirit of Creation that flows through you, and each and every one of us. aplash a little water on your face, whenever you feel down and out. remember ownership leads to difficulties. whenever people put too much importance on ownership, there is always a disconnect with their relationship with Great Spirit.

if you do own a lot, share it with others. if you aspire to own more than you do, make sure you dedicate the reason you’re acquiring is to help others–keep the ownership thing for the purpose of the entire human family to grow closer to being spiritually fulfilled.

and…for those of you who live in st. augustine, fl, as i do–please remember to correct people when they say our town is “the oldest city in america”–because that just ain’t true. truly, it is the oldest WHITE GUY’S city…but the oldest city in america is the Hopi Pueblos out west, in Old Araibi, where people have been living continuously for thousands of years. let’s give credit to where it belongs. even though today Old Araibi has no indoor plumbing, and each family has their own outhouse (I’ve been there, I know!) and there are no restaurants, no gas stations, no computers even–this is a thriving city where people have great love in their hearts for each other, their land, their country, and the meaning of existence–to honor Great Spirit that flows through all things.

in the Light, lordflea

i’m totally addicted to barry’s tea a friend recently turned me on to. sigh. soon i’ll get around to asking our local publix if they can carry it.
and where would life be without the slogans that helped me put down my former self-destructive ways and helped change me into what i am today. slogans like: “keep it simple, sweetheart,” “let go let God,” “first things first,” “easy does it” “think think THINK” etc. etc. ?
did you know that lord flea is a serious yogi or yogini (female is yogini and male is yogi: remember, lordflea is anonymous)? yes, i’m a lifelong practitioner of the poses, having discovered how “to do” yoga from a book in the mid-1960s, to save my aching scoliosis-bum teenage back. if i hadn’t i’m sure i would have ended up a cripple, the pain was excruciating all throughout adolescence. eventually, with time, by regularly doing the poses, i began to understand the philosophy of yoga, based on ancient scriptures. 
from thick-mud of being stuck...into being FREE

from thick-mud of being stuck...into being FREE

the reason why we practice the poses is for a purpose other than what most people think. to sustain a yoga pose, called an “asana” in sanskrit, is to help our physical selves ease into comfort, expand our bodies, and regulate and equalize our in-and-out-breaths–why?–for the purpose of being able to meditate with ease, with no physical discomfort, as we merge with the Light within.
all we can do is try--reach for the Light

all we can do is try--and reach for the Light

and then, 25 years ago, i was blessed to “run into” the teacher i’d been searching for all my life one fine day, a meditation master. so…for over 40 years now i’ve been a yoga practitioner, and meditator. without yoga my life is pretty boring. i use the 12-step slogans i learned when i got into recovery, at the exact same time when I “ran into” my teacher. but the main slogan that helps me stay centered and happiest, helps me work out all my crapola, is a sanskrit mantra that loosely translates: God is within me and everyone and everywhere.
my addiction these days is to be in that “inner Light” of meditation as much as i possibly can. and then—even though shit happens–i’m okay about it. after all–life happens! and yeah, shit does too.
there will always be “a cuba,” a “lack,” a challenge, no money, no job, no lover, an obstacle, a disease, a war, petty worries and fears–an unrighteousness of some sort for us to make aright. these things come with being alive. obstacles are meant for us to embrace, not run from as i once did–so that we can learn FROM them how to focus on the Light within, and eventually be able to interface that Light with what’s going on outside, in life. when i learned to do that, i began to change my thinking. negative things became opportunities. my life got better, little by little, bit by bit, practicing being in the Light each day, over and over.
we came from the Light, and we will one day return to the Source, the Light.  so–the way i figure–why not try to live in the Light, embrace it, as much as i can, and allow happiness in my life, even if bad things still persist all around me. inside, at least, within my own power-connection to the Light, no one can affect me. inside, i am one with the Light. the Light is always that close to all of us.
this is my Truth because this is what i have experienced. this is not just talk.
we make out of life whatever we wish

we make out of life whatever we wish

i am keeping to my commitment of writing each day, enjoying writing this book tremendously. i have to ask, “do i want to be with … or should I go to …–or should i stay home and write?” and i always choose writing, because—the book will never get written in a timely manner if i don’t.
i am extremely blessed, and happy to be able to do what I love to do. how fortunate can a person be, to have TIME to do what one loves to do? but then, i’ve worked HARD toward that goal for decades now. all that effort is finally paying off. besides, i work a day-job like anyone else. i cram into each day everything that i’ve decided needs to get done–and i forget about all the things i don’t have time to do. “first things first” — see! slogans DO work!
where my house is we don’t see many of the florida “snowbirds” who fly down after xmas. everywhere else in the sunshine state is crowded. but here in my little st. augustine neighborhood–it’s like business as usual, with no traffic but the locals who live here. we’re close to the inland-waterway, where we put in our canoe and paddle over to town in a hour, or to Moses Creek, a nature reserve, or any of many inlets and marshes in between.
 
cuba –another world. people there not allowed to own boats, unless they’re staunch supporters of castro’s regime. in the harbors i saw very few boats, ridiculously few.  sobering, one of the words i would use to describe cuba. but mostly it was …”intense,” although “depressing” is tempting to use as a modifier. the fact that i intermingled with mostly people in the arts and people who support charities there, speaks loudly of the restraints of living in a tyrannical dictatorship where survival is utmost in people’s minds. i’ve already taken some flak from several humanitarians, who think my atttitude “damning” or “political”… but…damn it! it is deplorable! i have to speak my truth, about how it felt to be there. isn’t that what a blogger is suppposed to do? speak what WE go through, how we see it … not someone else’s view? what others would like me to say? so that is why my tone, when it comes to cuba, is indeed a bit somber.  to me i speak from a spiritaul point of view, not political. but to others, there is not that distinction, i’m afraid. not many things happened while i was in habana to make me feel there is a lot to be happy about, except–and most importantly–that the fire within the human spirit never dies. cuba’s artists are alive and well. THEY are not afraid to convey, through art, through music, films, dance, the Truth of their sadness. from my own experiences i am convinced that ART has the power to lead the way, for anyone! from darkness into the Light. cuba’s artists will lead their oppressed people out of that tunnel of darkness all of castro-communist cuba are stuck in.
there is always hope. 
trusting the Light

being lifted up by the power of art: trusting the Light

one artist friend i spoke to (in spanish, so yes, i was able to converse, and my spanish improved even in the short time there) told me that change won’t happen, even if it could, because people’s MINDS are so frozen, so paralyzed, they’re consumed with just getting enough to eat that day. fear is at the core of everything they do. it’s not like the army guys walk around with machineguns, as i’ve seen in panama, or the dominican republic, and other latin american places i’ve traveled. but if you don’t “act right” or “speak supportively of the regime” in cuba, you could just disappear … and … who knows what then? 
 
cuban kids waiting for change, in old habana

cuban kids waiting for change, in old habana

carter’s coming back from brrrrrr minneapolis tonight. he went to do business and he tellls me it was a successful trip. we are so blessed, in these hard times, to have what we have.
 
in the news are people suffering. times are trying. some people simply can’t cope. difficulties are what make people come together more, though, to help each other. i feel certain that we will all come out of this challenge as better people. we are being forced to grow, as civilized humans. perhaps the lifestyle of spending too much, not thinking enough of “the Light,” not taking the time to develop a relationship with our inner Self and whatever outer form of Truth we choose, has brought such obstacles we now face to the forefront of our awareness–that we must change.
now, for my 500 words before i have to return to cleaning house (grrrr) for we have…guess who! the “havana-gee-la” harvard cabaret star himself coming to visit! his daughter has apparently gotten herself engaged to a “flordia redneck” (well, the prospective groom’s parents are from florida) and goldie and ann, from oh-so-civilized LA, are flying out to meet the soon-to-be in-laws, who live close by in orlando. then on sunday we’re having a superbowl get-together with all our yoga friends. me, i’ll probably hide in the yoga shack with others who’d rather do asanas than cheer a linebacker, or go rollar-blading, or walk with other friends who also abhor football … but i’ll show for the last 15 minutes to see what the big deal is.
boy, if we could all be as addicted to the joy, the unlimitedness of experiencing the inner Light as people are to watching blood sports–what a change this world would experience! BIG TIME.
 
it’s raining today. glorious, life-sustaining rain. thank you sweet life! thank you dear earth for giving me life. i promise to take good care of you and me, and help others to remember that the earth and all of us, We Are One. thank you, Creation, this consciousness called life, for your gentle touch of sustenance, of nurturing. i am here to receive your gifts, with humility.
next blog, i promise: SAINT PATRICK’S DAY IN HAVANA … sure to surprise you.
enjoy your gorgeous moment, my friend, love, lordflea

friend, please read “letter to a friend who still suffers” to the right.

love, lordflea

Friends,

the importance of what i spend my time doing the most of has been central in my thinking of late. y’know: you are what you eat, and you certainly become what you think. that’s why i haven’t been bloggin’ as of late. wanted to keep centered in my heart, and not just spew, at least for the sake of spewing.

i do this occasionally. withdraw and feel life living me, instead of trying to be so active, so concerned, so consumed with “other” that i forget this experience of life itself. here’s another way of looking at it:

the interconnectedness of All

the interconnectedness of All

all i have is my self, and my Self–the little me that squirms with responsibilities and worries, and the big Me that knows there is more to this life than i’ll ever know…and to feel the majesty, the magic, the wonder of it all is more than enough for me to be concerned about. certainly enough upon which to base my creative energies’ pursuits–my arting, as i call it, whether i paint, draw, make a garden, a cake, or sew a sail, write a book–or blog.

this feeling of being connected to all came to me as a child. then i lost it. then i rediscovered it later, mostly through working on getting rid of the garbage that my mind collected over the years. now i have trained myself to stay as much as possible in that simple place, that inner place, where the breath connects with even the movement of faraway galaxies, and the knowledge, the Truth of feeling connected is real–this is my daily experience.

the drawing i use as an example shows us all in our “Higher Self”… our so-called “angelic” bodies…that part of our nature that is connected to the Highest good for all. yes–we all have that in our nature, whether you are aware of it or not, whether you exercise that birthright, that ownership of your highest nature, or not.

living in the moment; accepting our sacredness, our divine nature–our Higher Self: this is the way of living i want to share with you, not because of any other reason but my humble offering to help make the world a better place to live in.

we are not all just scrambling around trying to get something to eat, or make happen, or elect, or conquer, or succeed, or even be good at. but yes, we all exisit as individual cells within the larger “thing” that makes up this known reality…what is called the Universe (and some call, simply, “God”).

we're all a part of a whole

we are all One, breathe, and feel: Truth

many other things have passed my mind, and of course i’ve been doing many (many!) other things since my last entry here. don’t worry. some of you who read my blog might think i’m just a holy-roller who only sits around contemplating my navel. but no—-i have a family, a job, lots of social duties, and creatively i’m consumed by writing a nonfiction narrative, illustrated, naturally, which i am debating about uploading here, so i can let you, friends on my web, read as i write, day by day. but…i haven’t decided to or not. ha ha! all i can say for now is…writing this book is certainly my immediate, and main creative focus, not this blog.

my garden has been covered with an entire truckload of mulch, delivered free by a tree-man who took down a big One over at my mother’s place. Carter and i’ve been doing lots of HOT HOT yoga, in our little yoga shed, which i call the santosa shack (santosa being contentment in Sanskrit). we chant, we meditate, we even attend his church, ahhweeee, diversity in God-liness! lots of cooking (made dosas twice this past couple weeks…a lentil and rice fermented east Indian flat bread, terribly exotic tasting, and terribly nutritious because of the legume and grain mixture). what else? oh so much biking, hiking, rehabing my knee, still injured from dancing too fiercely at daughter’s wedding way back in June. injuries take energy. life takes care. time is precious. do i use it wisely? i try to. when i lay my head down on my pillow, i feel rewarded by deep, comforting, beautiful sleep. what a gift, life is.

i will do a page next, i promise, on a subject i’ve been thinking a lot about: what to say to someone who is really, truly, either physically, spiritually, or mentally suffering.  because recently i ran into an old acquaintance, who has all the world at her feet: she’s rich, successful, socially powerful and consciously humanitarian beyond measure—but—she’s absolutely miserable.  the only outer proof, however, is that of her uncontrollable, mind-numbing, self-pitying drinking.  of course she’s in denial about having a drinking problem. and i simply can’t share with her my own experience in that matter (being in alcohol and drug addiction recovery now for my third decade)…but i can post a page here. perhaps one day a chink will open in her tightly-bricked-up facade, and what a person formerly-miserable (me) has to share with another who still is (her), will make a difference.

a little light in the well of darkness, that’s all i attempt to do…with my art, with my words, and now with this public web-spew.

so look on the right hand side in a day or say and you’ll see a new page. those pages stay up, where this post side changes when i enter a new one.

whew! i finally figured that out! now, if only i can find my beautiful color paintings. let me see, let me try again. a treat for you, perhaps?

plants, animals, mineral--we are all One

plants, animals, mineral--we are all One

i love each and every one of you, truly! lord flea