fill yourSelf with LOVE

The Bridge, our Opened Heart

Now we’ve raised our awareness up from what every person (with the exception of those in comas, or mentally challenged) is conscious of. A quick review of what “ordinary” people experience:

We ARE — 1st chakra, if we breathe we’re aware

We FEEL — 2nd chakra is knowing that our emotions are “signs” of consciousness, Watch Your Self!

We DO — the 3rd chakra, where our “gut” tells us what’s right, what’s wrong, doesn’t it?

And now … our consciousness has been elevated, and we’ve arrived at the Heart region, where …


fill yourSelf with LOVE

fill yourSelf with LOVE


Ahhh, the Mystery Itself.

This “Love” we’re talking about regarding “consciousness” isn’t romantic love, or love of nation, or loving your favorite sport or car or food. Or even what you love to do when you’re free from obligations. I’m capitalizing “Love” here because, what we’re discussing here in the purest, highest sense of what love means,. Our pure essence, like a newborn child’s, is what we’re referring to as “Love.” This is when our consciousness has risen up to the 4th chakra. “Love” is also what some call “God.” “The Mystery.” The Unknowable. The Ineffable. But, we are talking about it here, so I call it capital-L “Love.”

So … what does it mean, this word, love?


Our Hearts Connected—energized, in Love and Light

The dictionary says love is about passion. Strong affection. Attachment. Enthusiasm. Devotion. Concern for the good of another. To hold dear. Cherish.

These are good words. But words are, unfortunately in many cases, fickle little blobs of ink on the page (or screen) that don’t quite hit the mark. So let me share my experience of when I first became aware of my Heart chakra opening instead. I’ll help explain “Love” by sharing. This is show not tell, by the way. Takes a few words, so be patient.

Before this experience, I thought I knew what “Love” was. But I didn’t. After this happened, I forever afterwards had a different relationship with “Love.” In ALL its many aspects (romantic, humankind-wise, Divine-wise, loving family, pet, ice cream, etc.)

I had just begun my journey on Planet Sober. Meaning, I was finally sober after decades of abusing substances. Coinciding with my swearing off the self-abuse that negative addiction really is, I had become a serious student of a wonderful spiritual teacher. “The teacher arrives when the student Is ready.” This is SO TRUE!

This teacher of mine believed in the ancient method of meditation for the principal way to connect to the highest state available to humankind. For me, I had to agree. If you want to know why, check out my earlier blog posts. After seeking “Highs” everywhere I could, drugs, alcohol, experiences, adventures galore — the highest high I discovered was … right within me, when I was in meditation. I experienced this early in life … but couldn’t stop partying till I was in my mid-thirties. I wasn’t ready yet. Having an opened heart … is a responsibility.

This teacher demonstrated how chanting the ancient names (mantras) of the Divine was the best way to still one’s busy mind, so deep meditation could more easily be achieved. I was just learning how to chant. And how I enjoyed it! Being in a hall surrounded by the forceful, moving power of hundreds, thousands of voices! It was ecstasy like I’d never experienced. And these names of God were …. new to me. Unintelligible, really. Because this was in the ancient language of Sanskrit that we chanted, and my mind had no pre-associations with the sounds, other than their vibrations of sound, going deeper deeper, so deeply into my heart.

Because … if you make a sound (try it) this is where you feel the resonance in your body. The chest cavity. Hold your hands over your heart, and make a long Ahhhhh sound. You’ll feel a reverberation there, as if your sternum was a long-vibrating drum you can feel by touching the outer skin. The heart region is where we vibrate when we sing, or make sustained, low-pitch sounds. Like a cat’s purring, our heart creates a all-consuming vibration through the sound we make with our vocal chords.

In the disciple (very ancient and in many cultures) of chanting, the heart gets stimulated like nothing else can. It feels like a prolonged warm massage, with each long breath-out sustaining a note, and each breath-in (to refill the lungs) allowing another resounding, making the chest cavity vibrate continuously, uninterruptedly. And when you’re surrounded by the sound of so many others, chanting all around you, a person can’t tell where your own sound ends and theirs begins, and visa versa.

spreading the person at a time

spreading the sound of LOVE, one person at a time

And so I found myself transported, out of usual “self” with the practice of chanting. I felt my very soul vibrating, in unison with countless others. I felt combined with the multitudes of voices all around me. We were separated; women with women; men with men. The reason for that wasn’t obvious at first; but later, I came to understand. Men and women’s voices have completely different vibrations. Men’s are lower, women’s are higher. When, at a later date, I happened to sit among men while doing this sustained chanting, I was affected by the masculine sound. It definitely put me in a different “mood.” I felt agitated. I felt … not balanced (and I’m a very “masculine” type of woman, or as Mick Jagger says, a “girl-boy-girl.”) The sound of voices affects us very strongly, I’m sure you all remember a tear or two that arises when a particular “sound” moves you emotionally.

The event of my heart-opening happened weeks after I’d given myself over to the practice of meditative chanting. No longer was I self-conscious. And because I sat among all women, I never thought about “how do I look, sound, feel about … him?” I was in my element. Safe. Secure. Surrounded with … others very similar to me. Same sex, that is. We also shared the same purpose, in our vocalizing activity. A thousand voices all combined. I could hear the men, too, but they were in a different part of the large hall. And their energy wasn’t challenging me, wasn’t … disrupting my ability to melt among those like me that surrounded me. I truly was part of a mass consciousness. We were merged and become, truly — ONE VOICE.

And then — it happened!

Without realizing what it was, I suddenly found myself stop making a sound,because the energy coming from my heart was so … so …. Overpowering. So Strong! It felt exactly like there was a rusty old iron gate that had been shut tightly over my heart-cavity, for maybe a thousands years. It had been frozen shut, just like oxidized iron does. And now … it was being forced and pried …. OPEN … by invisible hands. Slowly, sweetly but yes, painfully because my heart had been stuck SHUT for eons. It felt as if the hands of God were reaching into my deep inner self and taking His/Her/Its two hands to pry open that rusty gate-heart of mine, ever so slowly. First, with jerking motions, this force; then more, more, more forcefullyl — then — my Heart chakra POPPED wide open! Suddenly. Painlessly. Wide wide wide open. Like floodgates suddenly thrown wide.


close-hearted folks, i call "rock people"

before, my closed-heart felt like I was a “rock person”


then — I joined the open-minded, open-hearted ones

I was stunned. Love consumed me. I became Love. I was … no longer “me.” Instantly I felt enveloped with the purest sensation I’d ever felt. This Love had no name or personality, or motive, or object or “any thing” attached to it. This Love I was …. is All there is. From that moment, until Now.

Love filled my mind with white diamond light. My body melted and I watched myself becoming this ever-expanding love. The warmth and fullness of my chest spread everywhere. I was one ball of a wholesome, loving heart. Was I chanting anymore? Probably not. Was I pure Love itself, me? Yes. Without a doubt. I can attest that I had become Love itself.

the Tipping Point

join me, in the Army of Love!

Now this may seem dramatic and surreal. But this is what happened to me. Maybe it’s because the situation was perfect, and the teacher was perfect, and the sounds of chanting set off a vibration, a trigger within me. Who knows? Who cares? An ephiphany aha-thing happened. One I’d been waiting my entire life for this event to happen.

So, my friends, this is what I mean by the Love that emanates from our 4th chakra. We get glimpses of it, here and there. When we’re doing something that raises our energies. When we’re with people that promote our higher understanding. And in innumerable other ways. We always know when we’re in our heart-chakra energy. We feel … indescribably wonderful.

This object-less Love is all-consuming. It might be call unconditional love. It might be called pure compassion. But whatever it is, believe me, you want it! And you can develop it by … chanting, yes. But also by meditating. And … most importantly. Not letting negative thoughts (people, places, things, etc.) exist in your consciousness.

When you are aware of the negative thoughts, then you are also able to say, “I choose not to let those negative things exist within me.” This starts when you become aware of your feelings (the 2nd chakra). But it really kicks in, big time, when your consciousness has risen up to the 4th chakra, and you choose to allow the heart-vibrating energy to … STAY there.

we all have CHOICES

Our CHOICES determine us being happy or unhapppy

For our consciousness to rise up, expand, we have to do self-inquiry. This is work, I won’t lie. The seeker must be aware of our thoughts, and guard the precious gift of awareness— with our life if we have to! You have to say “good bye” to all your negative friends, habits, tendencies if you wish to know the heights of life’s greatest opportunities.

This is the tough part. Violence. Once your heart has been opened, you’ll be so happy you’ll never want to go back the the “old you.” You’ll want to cultivate that open-heart you. Believe me. It will be so obvious when you sink back into your old ways, habits, customs. It’s only human, so don’t beat yourself up. Just be patient with yourself. When you suddenly “feel” bad, choose to stop doing whatever it is that causes it. Just stop. It’s that easy. You’ve just “spotted” that you’ve gone backwards. What to do? Not beat yourself up, that’s for sure. Just shake your shoulders, stand up tall, and take one tiny step forward again. Now you’re back on the path to enlightenment. Yaza Yaza. Easy!

Again, choose to realign your awareness with that open-heart of yours. And choose to not allow yourself to “go back” if you can help it. And when you do, again (you will!) take another deep breath, and re-commit to living in Love. It’s that simple. Just shake your head and tell the “bad demons” that live within us all, to BEHAVE. And be still. Watch your breath. Those inner demons will leave you alone. Because now you are focusing on your breath. You’re on the bridge from lower to higher, better you. Or use your mantra to still those demons. Or … read some inspiring words. Or … hang out with more positive people. Or … read more Lord Flea. Yaza yaza.

I hope this helps. Enjoy our journey together, discovering how consciousness is raised, elevated, cultured. Please tell me your experience with the opening of your heart. Leave a comment here, or write me:

And remember, I love you!

your pal, lordFlea, aka teZa Lord

Love Conquers All — even the Worst

Let’s spread the word!

Tweet, Post, write on your Facebook page, ask your local news stations start talking about how neighbors help one another. Or random stories about strangers assisting unfortunates. Contribute and insist on equal attention focused on good news instead of just nerve-grinding tragedies, heartaches or sensationalized Breaking News! that’s so popular due to boosted ratings.

When audiences demand more elevating stories instead of wacko nut jobs acting out, when people think positively, and continue committing random, willy-nilly acts of kindness—our world will rapidly change from the old paradigm of fear and control we’ve been stuck in.

In this way, harmful tendencies of the past will melt away. Feelings of separation will dissolve. Political, religious, and philosophical suspicions between East and West are culturally tolerated with Love and Kindness as catalysts of mass enlightenment.

We in the United States are the economic vanguard for the rest of the world. We inhabit the so-called New World founded on a constitution that has at its core, safeguards to protect the freedom of its citizenry, freedoms not seen anywhere else in the world at the time. But now we’re wising up, in this time of the NOW—rising up and becoming reborn, like the eternally revitalized-from-the-ashes phoenix. I truly believe America is the vanguard of humanity. It is reinventing itself right now, with the help of positive folk such as you and me as leaders of this new era we’ve entered: the Compassionate Age of humankind.

A new day is here, heralding that each moment the Earth is revitalizing, renewing, growing spiritually stronger with each new NOW, each newly hatched present moment.

C’mon creative artists—illuminate us!  Get it together and think of other ways to entertain, to tantalize us rather than put the Light down by promoting Darkness, or ignoring the Light that shines in each our eyes…like diamonds.

Remember, in this Army of Love we are amassing strength, making compassion our weapon of choice.

Spread Love wherever and however you can.

For those of us whose mission is not to entertain the masses, we can help by thinking loving, kind, and forgiving thoughts, never holding resentments or seeking revenge—and deciding to stop supporting people who treat each other with anything less than pure, basic compassion.

If you witness any evil—in real life, or see a disturbing image in a movie, a scene on TV, hear music that promotes violence, racism or sexism—put some of your abundant Self-generated Light around the people who were involved, and quickly turn your thoughts to Forgiveness and Love.

This is a Love Revolution underway here, folks. We in the Army of Love are joining efforts to publicize and install in the collective consciousness, the transformative power of the NOW. The present moment is our strength, our stronghold. Our world is turning around. We are becoming more holistic and healthy—even more rapidly if each one of us helps turn negatives into positives.

Consider yourself a captain in the Army of Love. Know that your choice to negate evil helps others to arm themselves with munitions of loving-kindness. The power of your positive thoughts and acts, is humanity’s weapon of mass illumination.

Watch yourSelf. Don’t honor the ways of wickedness. If you do you’re just as guilty of having the same stinkin’ thinkin’ as others you revile. Don’t allow negatives to exist in your sphere. Start with your own mind. Slay any negative thought that arises with the power of positive thinking.


We can do this!

No one has power over what others do with their lives, controlling another’s inner thoughts or their outer actions. But within our own minds, our own bodies, we have all the Power.

Use your power of thought well. Shine your inner Light, that most powerful of psychic tools, toward any negative situation in society. Each one of us can keep watch over our own thoughts, keep positive, and don’t allow negativities to overwhelm us.

We may not get to see the end result of this transformative work during our lifetimes. However, if we, as a race of awakened humans, begin at this moment to collectively focus our thoughts on the heightened state of consciousness that the age of NOW heralds, the Age of Compassion—our world will change, one person at a time, one family at a time.

All the evil in the world will melt away in the healing Light of Love that emanates from the world’s current tipping-point state, consisting of hundreds of thousands, and soon-to-be uncountable human hearts who collectively contribute their thought-seeds to a change in the downward spiral we seven billion souls here on Earth are influenced by every single day.

Let’s never forget that Love Conquers All.

Talk the Walk First, then Walk IT!

talkin'n'sendin' thought seeds

talkin’n’sendin’ thought seeds

Hope everything is roaring off to a great start for you in this wondrous New Year of 2013! Yesterday was 1.3.13, and much as I tried to get to write a post on that day, I’m happy I’m here today to do one. Life is busy, for all of us.

I want to briefly touch on my feeling very strongly that, in order to make significant change, whether in a person’s own life or with human civilization as a whole, we have to start by conversation.

Here in St. Augustine, Florida, my hometown, we’ve just begun doing this in the area of spreading compassion! Our group meets once a month. Write me if you want to know more about it, how, where, when, format, etc.

Our first meeting (1.2.13) was well attended, and during the course of talking about compassion it struck me for the first time how many people want to know more about how to embrace loving compassion and kindness in their own lives. So they showed up — either by invitation from an e- list sent around, or seeing an ad someone (not me) placed in our local newspaper — to learn more about compassion. Surprisingly, more folks than I ever suspected felt this way, expressed total frustration with our world, especially surrounding environmental issues. That it was “too late” to do anything. That it was too hard to be compassionate in face of a society that doesn’t cultivate heartfelt touches between its citizens. That they’d come there to — just talk about their frustrations about the lack of compassion.

But as the conversation evolved, other people expressed how something as simple as a compassionate smile can change a person’s life. When one person gives another a passing smile, say, a stranger on the street, a store clerk, maybe it doesn’t matter to the receiver right at that moment. But later in that person’s day, the speaker said, it just might make a difference. Maybe the effort of one person’s smile, like the effort of our group sitting around and discussing compassion and love and how to change our world for the better — just might make a difference.

And I believe this difference appears in ways we can never predict. But — every action has a reaction. Every bit of love and compassion, even a smile, counts! So start smiling, friends, and start talking about compassion to your friends, your family, even a stranger.

Just as a smile can uplift a person’s spirit, perhaps turn around someone’s mood, influence a decision, save a life, even — talking about our human society changing to a more positive way is the first step to all of us taking real action that will effect long-lasting change. This is the beginning of transformation. It starts with a thought, a smile, a conversation.

I think I’ll do a special post about how to set up this type of discussion group, “TalkWalkCompassion” … along with step-by-step directions for the (ever-altering) host, and how to get the conversation rolling along. If anyone wants these instructions before I get a chance to post them (I’m still busy with the final edit of my book Global Bliss NOW) please email me at dearlordflea(at)

Many blessings to All of You, and stay … in the Light!

your pal Lord Flea


12.12.12 — NOW to pump up work of LOVE & COMPASSION

the ripple effect creates the tipping point

the ripple effect creates the tipping point

(friends of Lord Flea, this is what I’m up to in my hometown…maybe you can do something similar in yours?)

Dear Friend,

A new opportunity is being created for all of us to come together to grow in a community-conscious way, by discussing and practicing — the idea of COMPASSION.

As an adjunct to the work of St. Augustine Initiative for Compassion (a non-affiliated group of compassionate citizens committed to spreading the simple, but oft-misunderstood concept of human compassion), we are proud to announce that starting this New Year of 2013 we will be holding a monthly discussion group of:

Simply Sharing about Compassion

We will use the “Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life” as a guide (book’s link: . The only affiliation our group holds is with the Charter for Compassion (more info at, a grassroots movement to promote global healing.

People from all walks of life — all faiths, all cultures, all beliefs — are invited to participate in our 1-hour monthly discussion. Everyone is encouraged to share. There is no teaching, promotion or agenda — only sharing about how to make our world come together in true compassion. This is a great place to learn how to be more effective in our own private lives, and take what we learn out to others, creating the Ripple Effect.

Our meetings will take place on the FIRST Wednesday of each month 7-8pm at St. Cyprian’s Community Center (Address below).

Please forward this invitation to any individual(s) or group(s)s that you think would be interested in spreading compassion in this world. Our purpose is to heal differences with love and understanding of Self and Others by first understanding, and then practicing the Golden Rule.

Feel free to write back with any questions.
Future correspondences will come from the group’s new email:
And we will be sending out a reminder just before each meeting.

So please mark your calenders NOW for January 2 so we can meet you at our first gathering, 7-8pm.

In the Light of Compassion,

teZa Lord and Ervin Bullock

Organizers for this community discussion group to be held at:
St. Cyp’s community center, on MLK at Lovett, in Lincolnville

St. Cyprian’s Church
37 Lovett St.
St. Augustine, FL  32084

What daVinci and LordFlea have in Common

the Feminine Healing Power

the Feminine Healing Power of Shakti

I drew this image several years ago, inspired, of course, by Leonardo daVinci’s famous Vitruvian Man, executed in 1492. Can you see the obvious differences and similarities?


leo's famous guy

leo’s famous guy

My drawing is, most evidently, a woman and Leonardo’s is a man.

Mine is filled with objects of nature (plants, animals, forms and squiggles) while Leo’s is a study of simplicity, design, and sacred geometry. Lordflea’s Shakti-woman has 11 chakras, centers of spiritual energy, while Leo’s defining fulcrum of power, from my visual evaluation at least, is from the figure’s naval, his so-called solar plexus area, that spot from which he entered his human existence. Leo’s figure is devoid of any other detracting symbolism, such as the emanating, profuse natural growth of organisms I surround my female with. My woman’s glance is downward (humility) and inward (reflective) whereas Leo’s is forthrightly outward (aggressive) and in-your-face (proud and sure).

When I did this drawing I was thinking, I suppose, as all artist do, about what I was feeling. As if I were the model I was drawing I’d suppose you’d say. Of course this is NOT a self-portrait, but … why not think of how we feel as how we truly are, rather than how we look?

Because yes, I do feel that the female energy (which is my birthright, this time around) is the most healing, the most naturally-inclined to compassion, the most nurturing. and therefore, the most likely (out of the male population) to be heading the phase of enlightenment that now beckons all of us on planet Earth.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your opinion. Thanks for joining my thinking about this one.

In Spirit, with much love, your pal




How to Be Passionate about Compassion

the Tipping Point

the Tipping Point

When enough of us share with others that Compassion is the answer to our current global dilemma … the world will transform into a higher realm of understanding the diversity of our human condition. Now that so many of us are already aware of this need … we have arrived at “the Tipping Point” … the number of awakened souls already achieved, to ignite a worldwide transformation. We have done this one person at a time. YOU can help the Love Revolution already afoot by becoming more involved with thinking, and acting compassionately. Help spread the word that Compassion is needed to bridge gaps between people all across the globe: caused by political, cultural, and religious differences. There are many ways you can help.

The first is visit the Charter for Compassion’s website and add your “click” (your voice) to affirm the idea of a compassionate world. The Charter for Compassion is the worldwide grassroots movement, originally sponsored by TED (after Karen Armstrong won the “wish” of 2008). The Charter’s work is dedicated to spreading the word and educating others about the necessity of living more compassionately. Affirm the charter (no obligation!) then come back and read how to further spread the word by starting a discussion with your family, your neighbor … your community. Right below here I’ve included the guidelines by which we’ve started a group to discuss how-to-live-compassionately in our own community.

Start a compassion-discussion group in your neighborhood or community

These guidelines can be used to start a discussion group in your circle, your town, church/ temple/ synagogue/ tent/ living-room/ basement, organization, or within your own family. Each topic can be a focus of conversation for a group. The following is a summary of Karen Armstrong’s book, “12 Steps to a Compassionate Life.” Armstrong’s book is a more thorough explanation of the Charter for Compassion, which we’ve already discussed here on Lord Flea.

Read the synopsis of “12 Steps to a Compassionate Life” aloud, to begin a discussion.

1. Learn About Compassion –Study first how compassion is expressed in our own traditions, then explore similarities with other traditions. Understand that, Doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, is the future of humanity.

2. Look at Our Own World – Begin in our own family and community to practice the Golden Rule. Daily, make sure not to do to someone what we wouldn’t want done to ourselves.

3. Begin With Self – Love your own Self first, then you can love someone else.

4. Empathy – Learn to feel empathy for our own struggles, and then we will feel it for others.

5. Mindfulness – Cultivate wholesome states of mind. Change destructive thinking and behavior patterns to positive thinking. Observe, then choose to change by using the Awareness–Acceptance–Action method.

6. Action – Build new habits of mind-body-spirit by practicing repetitively the Golden Rule.

7. How Little We Know –Seek to understand rather than be understood, letting go of certainties and judgments. Recognize the unknown and unknowable.

8. Communicate with Others –Ask questions of others; listen intently and sympathetically; allow possibilities to expand our convictions. Accept that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

9. Concern for Everybody – Let go of certainties and believe in the absolute equality of human beings, knowing we are all part of the web of life, and our creed is the Golden Rule.

10. Knowledge –Recognize the dangers of habitual thought patterns. Open to understanding others throughout the world. Study other cultures and traditions with an impartial attitude.

11. Recognition –Look at another and see that we are the same; there is no us and them. Relate our own suffering to the distress of others.

12. Love Our Enemies – Acknowledge it’s difficult to love our enemies. Transcendence occurs when we learn how. This happens by recognizing the sanctity of all life. Now we can find compassionate solutions to all global problems.

How this group can succeed

Start a discussion group based on the points above, a good way to locally take action and help our world heal. In addition, while discussing the12 Steps for Living Compassionately privately or publicly, create a safe environment for heartfelt sharing by respectfully listening when others speak. Cross-talk, whispering or joking with someone else while another is sharing, muttering or making faces, countering or commenting on another’s point-of-view do not create an atmosphere of safety so essential to the process of discussing how meaningful change occurs.

In discussion, we strive to express only our point of view and truly hear (listen) to the others who speak by turn. In countering another, too often a cordial discussion can escalate into an argument. Sharing, then, is expressing your own view, not denying anybody else’s.

To clarify group’s intention, read this after the 12 Steps

These twelve steps to a compassionate life are neither aligned with any political movement or party, religious or social affiliation, nor any outside influence other than the Charter for Compassion.

We are self-sufficient and do not accept contributions from outside sources, relying solely on our members’ support. Our purpose is to help bring about peaceful change so the world can live more compassionately.

(The above two paragraphs could be read aloud at the beginning of a compassion group discussion meeting, passing the basket if funds are needed for space or refreshments. This format is copied from the successful manner in which anonymous meetings are run. Please begin a group in your community, as we have in ours. Share with us here at Lord Flea how your group is going, its successes, its challenges. Thanks!)

Love to you all from your pal,

Lord Flea aka teZa Lord

As we think … so we are

As we think … so we are.

As we think ... so we are

As we think ... so we are

How we think and believe is inextricably linked with how we talk and act, and therefore, directly corresponds to our present situation and how things affect us both now and in the future, including dis-ease and disasters of all sorts, as well as the joys and pleasures of life.

Whether we enjoy good health and are blessed with abundant inner happiness, or we suffer the reverse—ill health or discontent with the world situation—it all depends on how we think.

We can change our thinking from limited, self-defeating smallness to believing and embracing what’s truly possible of the human condition: our ability to have incalculable expansiveness. Our lives can be unlimited in possibilities, if we make that choice.

I know this from personal experience, not research.


When a dear friend was recently diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, my feelings of impotency became so overwhelming that I decided I had to do something, besides offer my love and support, which of course all of us compassionate humans have in such instances. After visiting Maya and seeing for myself the obvious signs of the difficult, sad journey ahead of her, I was struck by the gravity of her situation. Instead of feeling powerless, as I did before going to see her, I was surprised to be filled with a burst of inspiration by what happened next.

Sitting in meditation the next day after visiting my sick friend, I was thrilled to receive one of those incredibly longed-for moments so familiar to meditators such as myself. Those of us who sit regularly, over time, inevitably come to trust our Inner Wisdom more than any other source of information. On this day and in one instantaneous flash I received what I’ve come to call meditation’s tendency to offer Those Billboard Moments … because the message I received, as always, arrived as clearly, as loudly, as directly as the biggest, brightest, most ludicrously obvious and flashy roadside billboard ever seen. This is the inspiration I received.


Write what you wish to say to your friend, right now.

Write, even if she can’t hear it or comprehend it. Write what you wish your friend could listen to, or had listened to years before, when she’d asked, and you offered—how you feel that life is a Magical Mystery Tour. A conscious life, that is. Back then, you answered that you’ve found it true that on Earth we humans experience what seems an ordinary human life, but actually is—when we awaken to higher perceptions—an extraordinary Life-In-Spirit. But Maya didn’t really believe what you had to say, back then. At least she didn’t show it in her continued habit of competitiveness and putting material accumulation ahead of her spiritual growth. Your friend might listen now, now that she’s facing, head-on, her own possible demise with this death sentence handed her at an otherwise lusty, healthy and wealthy age of fifty. Tell her everything here, in a book you’ll call, in her honor, Maya’s Book of Change. Maya  needs to hear all of what you want to say.

The inner message continued coaching, instructing me:

Name the book that because the I Ching¸ the original Book of Change (set in writing in 4000bce by Confucius) helped you, teZa, comprehend how humans must choose to live In Spirit. Confucius’ original Book of Change has always been a great comfort and a great teacher to you. Now you can offer the same to your friend in your own inimitable way. If your friend doesn’t want to hear what you have to say, or doesn’t care what you think, or can’t hear it (don’t forget, she’s taking heavy doses of narcotic pain-killers, is simultaneously on chemotherapy and radiation, plus she’s always had that one stiff drink every evening, taken pills for anxiety, along with smoking pot for years before this, and double that amount now, now that she’s in real pain)—no matter. Write it down anyway, even though it might be too late for Maya.

You must say what’s on your mind because others need to hear besides your friend. Yes, it very well might be too late for Maya. Though she didn’t want to hear it before does not mean she won’t be able to hear it now. Perhaps she can’t comprehend anything but the horror of losing her vibrant, beautiful life in the dreadful situation confronting her. How unfair it is, is her strongest belief at the moment. She keeps crying out “Why me? Not now! It’s too soon.” She may need to just rest, so she can face the next minute or two. She wants nothing more, right now, really, than to dull the pain even more. Perhaps she’ll numb whatever life she has left to live, one breath at a time. But you, teZa, your job as her friend, is to share these ideas with Maya. Help her grasp them to her best ability by writing about them as clearly as you can, so as many people as possible might also benefit from your communicating these hard-to-convey insights that are the most logical, obvious truths of earthly existence.

Whether Maya ever gets to hear these words or not, doesn’t matter.


my Inner Voice said, "Take Action!"

my Inner Voice said, "Take Action!"

After my inner Voice silenced, I began to write.

People need to hear It. This is what my luminous Inner Billboard told me, in one shockingly real, thunder strike-me-down moment of lucidity. The door opened into my destiny, and I was handed this specific task. This is the bidding I received.