everything i do is a test, like this!



I’m preparing to eBook publish Heart Island: a trilogy of transformation. Now trying to figure how to insert illustrations into the books. Above is from a new scanner (epson) and here’s from my older one (hp) … see the difference? These little nuances are driving me crazy, but step by step, I’m figuring it all out. This is what’s entailed of self publishing. Of course it’s waaaay easier without the illustrations, but hey! I’m an artist as well as a writer. Hope everyone appreciates knowing about the process of self-publishing.

Heart Island images (hp)

Heart Island images (hp)

Which do you like better? Tweet/post/write me your choice.

your pal, lord flea

Renew, Restore — Awaken!

the waterfall of Life

the waterfall of Life

This is not about computers, friends. I’m talking about the journey we all share, propelled by our inexorably searching human spirit. Each and everyone of ours. And I’m not referring to the search for the next-leader of Al Qaeda, either. I’m talking about how some of us are quite obsessed (others, not so much) to discover the “inside scoop” that makes us all tick. The bottom line. The matrix, the skinny — ahhh, The Mystery. Myself, I call the phenomenon of “the Secret of Life” just what it is: The Mystery. Native Americans call it that name, as well as Great Spirit, a more specific reference to both its tremendousness and its unknow-ability. Call It what you may, The Mystery about sums up what we definitely know about “the meaning of life.” After all, who really knows? People say they’ve “seen the Light” when they’ve had an NDE. I’ve met several individuals who attest to the exact same experience (the tunnel, the Light) after having died and then, been miraculously revived. One NDE-friend of mine is literally a “rocket scientist” who drowned when he was 5: not the sort to exaggerate, by any means. His experience set him on a lifelong journey to discover The Mystery. The other was a motorcyclist friend, a bit more flamboyant, his character a tad more doubtable … but both told me they had the exact same experience, if only for fleeting moments. They literally stood in, and felt, the presence of The Mystery. This skin-chilling story seems to be universally the same as all other NDEs I’ve read about.

And isn’t this exactly what forms the basis of all the world’s religions? To answer some of the questions humans hold about what’s to happen to us when we die? I think so! Religion — all religions, from Christianity, Judaism and Islam, to Buddhism and Ba’hai, they all represent “heaven insurance” for their followers. For others, myself included, subscribing to a spiritual philosophy such as I do (being a meditator, a mystic, a yogi-recovery-Catholic) brings for me an automatic entry ticket to be a member of a “tribe” instead of being the lone rogue I once was; or worse, delegated to those “tribes” who claim no belief in anything, void of any mystery or “magic” in this earthly life at all. For me, life would be dull and awfully scarry without this innate search for The Mystery we’re all confronted with. To have a search means we get to discover many insights, answers, and follow the beacons of Light we’re presented with. I have found many answers in my own search, and they satisfy my longing-to-know. The answers all reside within my own human spirit, as they do in yours … our lovely, beating, awakened-human hearts.

Join me as I tell the story of Tyson Leela’s adventures to reclaim her having once experienced “It” after she loses that inside connection. Heart Island: a trilogy of transformation coming soon to you in eBooks and POD. check out the books’ progress: facebook.com/tezalord

Sending waves of Light and Love to each and every one of you,

your pal Lordflea

Light-heart, Laugher, and Lots of Chocolate: magical ingredients

heart island

heart island

To laugh is to live! Did you know that infants (according to scientific studies) have no ability to discern between the sound and “look” of an adult laughing or crying? Check it out for yourself. Take a picture of yourself laughing and see how similar you appear as when you are very sad, on the verge of tears. With laughter as well as with crying the voice becomes loud and the noise it makes sounds forced; the breath becomes rapid and distressed, and one’s face crinkles up in a most distorted fashion with both emotional displays …. sending mixed signals to an infant. Often the results are surprising, with even a young child of 4 or 5 crying when others are in reality, laughing. Why? Because they confuse the harsh sounds of boisterous laughter with human throes of sobbing. When I first found this out I was struck by how similar all human emotions are, and how extreme they take us to either a “high” or a “low” when they’re allowed to be felt in extremity. A really deep sadness hurts almost enough to want to die. An enormous uplifting joy makes us feel like we’re on an artificial “high,” lifting us right off the ground. Both extremes of the pendulum transport us out of our ordinary selves into an extraordinary way of seeing life. But there’s always the opposite sway of the pendulum: when the extreme emotion is over we usually have the opposite of it to feel as well. And that’s no darn fun. I call this the “rollar-coaster of emotions.”

The word “serenity” implies a balance of emotions, a state in which neither extreme (of despairing sadness nor of hilarious joy) is allowed to rule our passions. Wow! Y’mean we have choices over how our emotions take us over? Well, yeah! But of course this takes practice, believe me. The payoff is tremendous though. To experience the state of “Serenity” is how I feel when a delicious piece of chocolate is melting my mouth, only the sensation of serenity lasts really looooong compared to the fleeting euphoria of Godiva. Try it: go to the mirror and make a little curled-at-the-corner smile. Like the one you always see on statues or images of Buddha. Indeed, this is called the “buddha smile” and this expression is a teaching of how one ought to practice yoga: with a serene pleasant expression on one’s face. Along with the eyesight being steady and fixed on a certain point (to hold steady in a pose, yes, but also to calm the unsteady mind) this is what we yogis call the drishti … our gaze.

Try it. Remind yourself gently to have a pleasant uplifting look on your face. Curl the outer corners of your mouth into a tiny smile. Not an outlandish or fake or stilted one. Just a gentle smile. As if someone had just whispered in your ears, “You are a beautiful person, and I love being with you.”

See how that make you feel! And watch how it makes others feels who you come in contact with throughout your day.

Your pal sending lots of love, laughter, and Lightness, Lordflea

Everything aglow coming from the muck below

some of you may know that i’ve been writing a book. and some of you might know that i’ve been trying to get published through the customary means of approaching agents, publishing editors, etc. etc. And maybe some of you also know how darn hard that happens to be these days. Of course: Everyone wants to be an Author, Everyone is an Artist … everyone’s mother and grandmother especially.

So … i am here to tell you that i’ve taken the plunge and have embraced the new paradigm shift that is occurring right now, as we speak. Not maybe but with a bigtime NOW. The wave of change is upon us. The tsunami of each 21st Century artist and author (including musician, dancer, poet, scientist, manicurist … any person who offers new and different things to the world) must take the bull by the horns and promote themselves.

nobody else is gonna do it for us, right?


After hedging and “trying” over and over (my excel sheet of rejections is topping 100) I am plunging in and making a plan to offer you, the interested reader of all sorts, the opportunity to read at your leisure my trilogy of transformation.

HEART ISLAND: tales of an unnatural naturalist

First step: please go to my NEW page on Facebook and “like” it so you can keep abreast of the upcoming movement involved with publicly unveiling my trilogy. click here now or come back when you finish this post: www.facebook.com/tezalord

Second step: Enjoy the moment, each moment. The Magic Moment of the NOW! Here’s a little something to help you focus on “That.”

within each of us, we are powerFULL

within each of us, we are powerFULL

All we need to tap into our own inner power — to rely upon that source of unlimited energy that makes us able to do the unthinkable — is to relax, breathe deeply, shut outside disturbances off (if only for a moment at a time!) and FEEL the true matrix of our Being. Feel that we are truly One. Each one of us is truly a vessel of Universal Energy…no matter what you call it (Spirit, God, etc.).

So that’s what’s going on with lordflea! hope you enjoy my new presence. As always, I’ll be posting here about other things besides “my life.” I like to keep the subject of this blog timeless, non-political, non-personal, and useful for everyone who wishes to be a little more less stressed and waaaaay more happy.

all our energies ... constantly getting recycled

all our energies ... constantly getting recycled

and don’t forget, for those who want to read the first couple chapters of “Heart Island” I have made a special blog for just that reason, for your convenience: Heart Island, tales of an unnatural naturalist

in Light and Love, Lordflea singin’ with y’all

Thinking Outside the Box

My thoughts have been centered on just that lately — how to think, and then, act! — by expanding my awareness of how things really are, outside the box. This effort has been thrust upon me by a series of events in my own life — but each and every one of us, and collectively as nations, and even broader, as a unified family of humanity must face the same dilemma, sooner or later — how to take that next step when the old ways just don’t work anymore.

what to do, what to do: where to turn, whom to trust ... on and on

what to do, what to do: where to turn, whom to trust ... on and on

Have you ever come to that point in your life when you realize that things have been shown (or abruptly ripped from you, in cases like what I’ve just gone through) that make it more than obvious (if one can reflect upon such situations) that the Universe is telling you (sometimes shouting) “It’s time to change! Get off your ass! C’mon! Think outside the box and do life another way, sweetheart!“? Well, this is just where I’ve traveled, and I’m here to report that whatever happens during the process of change, however painful it is (and always is) the new perception of life that we are given as a result of assessing, and then eliminating painful non-functioning parts of our lives (in other words–removing destructive habits, abusive friends, oppressive situations, etc) always leads us closer to Truth.

What is Truth?

Ahhhhhh, the Great Mystery of Life.

Always hard to talk and write about … easier to demonstrate with visuals. Allow me to share my feelings about life’s Great Mystery, the only thing worth striving for, in my humble Lordflea-ism approach to this whirling ball of blue we all share, here in the vastness of space:

all of us ... cells of Oneness

all of us ... cells of Oneness

so what i’m saying is….if anyONE or anyTHING prevents me from feeling connected to this Mystery, this vast, beautiful, oh-so-real connectedness between all living beings and all in existence … whether alive or only in pure energy form that’s also called consciousness … then I know it’s time to make a change.

This has happened to me recently: I was verbally assaulted by someone close to me, unprovoked. Someone whom you’d never in a million years think could be capable of such outlandishly bad, disrespectful, and mortifying low behavior. But shit happens. Some of us are not as mentally and emotionally well as others. Some of us haven’t yet worked out our fears and angers, as was the case with this person. How can one determine when you’re being abused? Because it feels you’ve run against (or are one of them, actually) folks like THIS! (again, words are difficult … visuals easier, better, more universal, don’t you think?):

close-hearted folks, i call "rock people"

close-hearted folks, i call "rock people"

in my case I realized I’d been unnecessarily assailed and found that totally unacceptable. I’ve worked too hard, too long on getting to a place of inner peace to allow someone else to abuse me, much less ever abusing myself anymore. I don’t allow people, places, or things to abuse me. If I feel i’m being treated “less than” the gloriously attuned person I’ve worked so hard to become (i’m not bragging, honestly! this is the fruits of my long and dedicated efforts at meditation, yogic practices, and seeing “God in Each Other”) … then I make a change. In my case, I had to de-friend this individual, as kindly, though as directly, as possible, and only after seeing there was no recourse to a high-minded conciliatory effort on the part of myself and the abuser. When someone cannot even SEE that they are abusing, you have to retreat. As fast, as far as possible. Otherwise one’s wishes to merge with the Mystery are forever being daunted, and we, as emotional humans, have a much harder time of living in our hearts and soaring with the union of All Like-Minded-Ones. Like this — an example of how it feels, what can happen to us-former “Rock People” if we only allow our fears and misgivings to evaporate:

we are ONE ... feel IT

we are ONE ... feel IT

Of course this is a metaphor. We’re not all actually angels. But we all do all have an angelic nature as well as a perfectly devilish one.

Which one are you living by today?

Which side of your dual-nature do you aspire to reside in, to enjoy its fruits: bitter or sweet?

The devilish one, where you feel insecure, anxious, scared, judgmental, and not sure of the Mystery? Or ….

Your angelic side, in which you smile inwardly at how close you are, actually, truthfully, to being a Part of the Mystery, continuously, intrinsically … innately?

Fortunately, each of us is given the choice. And if you’re in a situation where you feel you don’t have the luxury of that choice, it’s time to either RUN away, start afresh, or ASK for help. We are here to help others. Nothing is impossible if we do it all together.

My last thought for today, dear friends, munch on this:

we are all interconnected cells within the Body of the Mystery

we are all interconnected cells within the Body of the Mystery

Love and Light from Lordflea

if you’d like please check out my novel, which I’m uploading chapter by chapter while I’m preparing it’s eBook publication:


AND … my NEW website that explores the Mystery a little more via words and visuals, a la Lordflea


Opening to the Heart

Hi friends!

It’s been a busy time in the house of Lordflea. We’ve been having lots of bonfires all week, powwowwing and music-making, dancing inside our hearts and outside under the stars. Ever since ol’ mr and mrs Hawk moved into our big tall pine tree, built their nest at least sixty feet high, right outside our back door, there’s been lots of excitement around the neighborhood! Meaning: our little slice of life has become a haven for flying critters defending their territory against the Big Bad Predator.

Boy, i wouldn’t want to be the bag guy around our neck of the woods. Every bird, especially the menacing mockingbirds, takes a turn harassing the hawks, dive-bombing their tail feathers as they sit atop their sky-high perches, as the smaller kamikazes loudly defame the hawks’ right to be there in defiant, persistent, nervy-strength decibals.

Down on the ground we have a troop of neighbor cats roaming our hunting grounds that are inhabited with other wild and swift-footed furry ones (squirrels and other rodents, armadillos, turtles, raccoons, occasionally a possum or two); reptiles (lizards plain and posh, ooh so many guppies in the stream and snakes in the underbrush, of every color but no rattlers, but possibly a moccasin, in which case we’ll prompty remove him/her from the near vicinity, or get those unfriendly-to-human cats to form a serious moccasin-huntin’ pack). Did I mention the profuse butterflies, hummingbirds, and insects of every tropical description (north Florida-style)? Plenty of excitement at our place, which i call “Veritas Shambho”–Veritas meaning “Truth” in Latin, and Shambho is  Sanskrit for haven of Bliss. Two attributes—Truth and Bliss—that  we pay serious attention to here, in the house of Lordflea.

I’m thinking at lot about the heart. and how my job: as artist, writer, blogger, creater of environments, mesmerizer, person, etc.—is to help others open their minds and hearts (preferably, their hearts) to new things. Here’s a drawing I did in honor of this subject, taken from what Annie Leibowitz wrote in a book about WHY she creates her stunning photos:

“You have to make art stronger than life so people can feel it. Like Franz Kafka says, ‘You have to take an ax to the frozen sea in people’s hearts.'”

Thinking about the Heart, the Core of things, the central Hub of existence: my week.

I’ve been asking myself this question: What is it, exactly, that I want to achieve by doing this creating, make-art thing, and writing being an important part of it, of course. Lo and behold a few days of thinking this we take a drive in which Carter, my consort, and I pass along a country road see a sign “Heart Island.” I said, “Wow, that’s it! That’s why. That’s what it’s all about.”

To live in the Heart.

And thus…in honor of my fog-clearing revelation, I have changed the name of my autobiography, which I’m now offering on its own special blog–from Dharma Brat, and then Outsider, to…  “Heart Island” … Please visit my new blog www.heartislandstory.com where I invite you to read — in chronological order or not, your choice — excerpts from the book I am now looking forward to publishing, but offer to everyone via this blog.

My life’s goal is to always live on Heart Island.

To bask in the sun of Truth and feel alive with Wonder.

To feel the Warmth of goodness about what’s Happening.

To “see” the Everything Happens for a Purpose.

To tune into the excitement of what’s possible … which is absolutely limitless.

This, my friends, is Heart Island.

But THIS … is what may happen to Heart Island if things don’t change….like NOW!

Consider this image a moment, will you, and see if you can “feel” what it’s about? No, it is NOT an orgy.

here’s what it’s USED to look like, same place, different era (before global warming)

Another thought to wonder about: Global Warming at Glacial Park. For those of you who have been to Glacier Park (Montana) when the summer heat gives a jaw punch to the experience, you’ll “get” this depiction of our environment’s plight. Please send your positive thoughts (also called in some circles, “prayers”) to the healing of our world, to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill resolution in the Gulf, to the resolution of the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan. We can solve anything with our combined thoughts — the BEST place to begain to turn negatives into positives. If we all tuned into POSITIVE CHANGE…the world would positively change.

in the Light, with much Love, lordflea