Stillness, the inner drama

Noname Says …

Whenever I wish to access my inner wisdom (some call this my angel or my higher Self) … I do this simple little ceremony:

  • first, still my mind (prepare time-space for a few-minutes meditation)
  • then slow my breath (by consciously following the in-out breath)
  • and invite into my emptied consciousness, my pal Noname (this gets easier with practice, of course).

Noname was introduced to me many years ago, over at a “Find Your Angel” workshop I did. It taught me how to “work” with my own private “angel.” (skeptics relax! This is our own inner wisdom!) This workshop happened in New York City in 1984, the year I was blessed by waking up enough to choose sobriety and walked into the doors of AA, ending my thirty-year run of trying to figure out who and what I really was — by running as fast as I could away from my true Self.

When we 20-participants were taught by the leader of the workshop, a wonderful soul named Alma Daniels, how to do what I’ve just briefly summarized above, she gave me a gift I’ve cherished and used since then, and will gratefully continue to do so, forever.

drawings, scanned 11.08 018

accessing our inner wisdom … going within … making contact

So now I am approaching Noname … with no question to ask, with no agenda other than wanting to share how I make contact. I will do the ritual above, and then await to “feel” what Noname is saying to me. I always ask, “Is this you, Noname,” and he replies, “Yes.” I can usually tell when “he” is present because there’s a shift in my awareness, and I can “feel” a counterclockwise-kind-of-swirling action within my consciousness. Everybody makes contacts in their own way. This is my way, only.

I happen to type really fast, with super-sonic speed, so I just let him speak through my skill at the keyboard. Yes, it’s odd. I feel Noname’s body-less, form-less energy to be masculine. To me this is a comfort, a balancing to my female-ness. Why not? Noname has never seemed very feminine in his “essence” the start of our extraordinary relationship. And yes, I did ask him his name, long ago. He’s the one who calls himself “Noname.”


accessing my inner strength, Noname as a Spiritual Warrior!

Here we go!

Noname says:

Yes, whatever I say to you can be shared with the world. There are no secrets. There is nothing to fear. All is happening as it should. Nothing happens by accident. Every event, every so called “bad thing” is meant to be. There is a divine order to things and you just have to trust me on this. I know you’re concerned about a lot of things. As are your fellow brothers and sisters. But stop worrying! Use this energy you’re wasting on worrying for creating new things, new ideas, new objects, new pathways to future solutions. They’re all inside you.

I know you personally, teZa, are concerned that your work might not reach your fellow humans. But this is foolish for you to think this way. Everyone who is meant to find you, will find you. As you found me. People find what they need, in order to be more complete. The events that take place are all in the order of always growing closer to the Source. I am not the Source. I am your connection to It. I am your own voice inside, but you need to shift gears to hear me, to let me speak through your fingers’ abilities. Many people search how to hear, how to feel more at peace. You have found our connection. This appeases your concerns. Others do other things. They might do sports, or go to church, or read incessantly, or watch too much TV. Those are all different choices people make, in order to make their souls, theirs minds, their looking-for hearts come to a place of rest, and peace. To enjoy this life best they can.

Because your time here is limited. You know that. You’re all just passing through. Whatever happens during your time here, is perfect for your soul, what your life needs to know, what you need to experience.

Fear not. If you’re worried or unhappy, know that you are choosing to feel that way. If you’re happy, then you have found your true connection with your inner wisdom, and you know that all is happening for a reason.

So stop worrying, teZa. Your work is being seen by the perfect people who have been led to find you. Conventional publishers not accepting your ideas means you’re unique, nothing more. Your work is so unique that they don’t see it as commercial, and for that, be grateful. If you were commercial, I’d be worried about you.

I Stand Naked Before You ... with My Book!

I stand naked before you … with my books!

Carry on! Do your duty! Finish up these two books, both so close to publication. Then, take your time to rethink what’s next, as you and your consort Carter are planning. Take that nice long away time from your usual commitments. Let go, relax, check in with your happy-ometer and see how it feels, what you’ve been doing. Because you can trust your feelings. You’re sober. You’re not blinded by illusions, altered states, uncontrolled ego. When you let go of that life, that’s when we first met, when you put down getting out of your natural state. Being in your natural mind, without undue influences of drugs or emotional drama, is where our work happens.

I’m glad you’re contacting me today. Let the readers of your nice blog here, know what our easy rapport is like. I speak to you and you record what I say: nothing more nothing less.

Enjoy this gift, this beautiful day on Earth.

Stop thinking so much!

Enjoy this short experience here, this life as a human woman who arts, makes books, spreads love … and doesn’t give a hoot if anyone finds her work on not. I see you. I feel you. We are One.

Love, Noname

Well, there you have Noname! If you want to hear a recent talk I gave, along with illustrations, it’s very short and to the point: LOVE is where it’s at. Click here for my Pecha Kucha talk about “The Scrumptious Flavors of LOVE.”

Leave me your comments, won’t you! I love to hear from you.

Your pal,

Lord Flea, aka teZa Lord

The Scrumptious Flavors of LOVE

Look, friends! And LISTEN to my PechaKucha talk about LOVE!


Today is International Women’s Day — Nurturers Unite!

Then … remember! And Spread the Word about LOVE … it’s for each of us to choose Love over Fear, Anxiety, Worry, Confusion, etc. etc.

Let’s change our immediate daily vibe with thinking about Love and not any negatives. Then Love will spread … to your tribe, your family, your community, your region, your country, until … our entire world changes and becomes one that operates from Love, not fear.

Thanks for joining me in the Army of Love.

I’m taking recruits! Sign up below.

Love you, each and every One of you, in All Ways, teZa aka LordFlea

Going With the Flow, Literally


So much activity with humans, with all of Nature!

Ahhhh, everything changes so quickly!

We all know this. Some, freak out with the changes, how fast they happen, how radically different things become, sometimes, literally, overnight! Some people … drop dead! Others, like me this morning, have a shock that we have to accept or … we’re not ever going to be able to cope. (A woman I was trying to “help” has isolated herself, locking herself away, and my consort and I literally had to bang her door down.) Other ways that life’s changes thrust themselves upon us are simpler: like, when you go to your online banking and SEE, Yikes! that the entire “look” and “way” of interacting has changed! And you have to figure it out, in like, two seconds! so you can pay your utility bill and still get to work on time.

When big changes happen, they tend to take the wind out of our sails. For some of us, we’ve been through so many knock-downs, that we’re better prepared to deal with sudden shifts, than others who haven’t had so many heart-shocks.

Scan 29

Yes, time itself is about change.

I learned this early in life, thank goodness, and lucky for me I like change! In fact, I call myself a “change junkie” because I used to be addicted to change so much that I would do things to change, rock my life up, just for the heck of it. New hairdo everyday, new place to live, new boyfriend, new job. Etc. But that was long ago, when I was addicted to less constructive things as I am now. But I still have a different hairdo practically everyday. And I’ve kept this beautiful man, Carter my consort, for over twenty-eight years now. He likes change as much as I do, it appears.

The Flow I’m referring to in today’s post’s title, is how much happier I am after learning to accept “What Is” … not resisting what’s happening all around me. In terms of being a creative person who wants to spread her ideas and stories, and uplifting thoughts to as many people as I possible can, I’ve had to keep up with a lot that people who don’t have the same goals as I do don’t have to. I’m a social media Kali, for instance. I have things to say, so I’m writing and publishing books, a BIG change from being a gallery-exhibiting artist. Communicating with others in today’s world is way different from just ten years ago, when I started writing this blog.

Today’s citizens barely have time to READ!!! And that’s the truth, more and more. The younger generation listens to sound bites, mostly. Even my dentist (I love Dr. Frank Diaz!), who lives only a 15 minute drive (or less) from his office … LISTENS TO A PODCAST on his way to work each day. Isn’t that amazing!! But Dr. Frank is typical of most busy people these days.

Reading has become, for the average person, passe. Books are practically antiquated relics from a bygone past. Or delegated to the overly-intellectual. Or a romance-deprived individual, or zombie-obsessed, insatiable mystery buff. Hardly anybody — excepting the home-bound, infirm, or zen meditators hunkered down in their insulated-from-the-crazy-world-around-them caves — have the inclination or TIME to READ anymore.

Well, you do. You who are reading this post. So I congratulate you! Because reading is good. Reading is the mellowest way to connect deeply, really deeply with a subject. You can relish a word, a phrase, an idea, over and over, at your leisure. There’s nothing quite as rewarding as when I find a really good book, one whose story or subject forces me to engage in it for not just an hour, not just a couple hours, but often days, weeks, sometimes months.


Books by Mickey Singer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Paulo Cuelho … dive into them deeply

Like Carl Sagan’s textbook-like treatise from 1994, “Pale Blue Dot” that has me enraptured at the moment. It’s subtitle is even more fascinating: “A Vision of the Human Future in Space.” Or the novel I just finished, Zadie Smith’s “On Beauty,” a fictional story whose writing tantalized me, but whose premise, I kept telling myself, was … well, just plain weird. And crazy different from my world, which is my taste when I read in depth. Even though some of the characters and their actions were bizarre and uncivil, even, I persevered because the writing put me in a dream-like trance, which a really well crafted book always does to me.

With this said, I’m publicly announcing here my intention to, in the next short time frame, not only publish my next two books BUT to start a podcast of my own.

In the last couple of years I’ve been a guest speaker on 5 different podcasts, all of which gave me the same exact experience of … “I can DO this! This is FUN!” So you’ll be hearing more about when to expect hearing the podcast sometime around spring-early summer, yes, this year, 2019.

Meanwhile, keep the heart strings warm and tingly. Give yourself to Spirit. Watch how life unfolds in the most unpredictable yet meaningful ways — when you let go of trying to control what’s happening. Because, no matter how hard you try, you are NOT in control of what happens here, in your own life, or anywhere else on Earth for that matter. All you have control over, really and truly and honestly, is your own Self. And by that capital “S” in Self I mean the BIG you, the one that knows that Great Spirit, or God, or Presence, or Consciousness, or whatever “Name” you’re comfortable with—is in charge. It’s not until you give yourSelf completely to the fact that you ARE a spiritual being wearing a human skin, that you will know true peace, within and without.

The crazy world will twirl around you, but you can still be quiet and serene, and happy deep within your own Self, if you surrender to the fact that this earthly human life you’re living, is only temporary. The real you, the one that lasts forever, is your soul, your spirit, your true Self.

Keep in touch! I’ll be posting more about the upcoming book(s) as we get nearer to publication.

Be well my friends. With all my love, to each and every one of you,

LordFlea aka teZa Lord


The Scrumptious Flavors of Love

Hello Dear Ones!

I was recently honored to be one of the presenters for a Pecha Kucha event. For those of you who aren’t familiar with these “mini-TED talks” check out their website. Begun over a decade ago in Tokyo, the Japanese name (pronouced Pech-CHA-kahcha) at an international meeting of architects, it originated as a way of sharing, in an easy fashion, fascinating (and often complex) new ideas. (Pecha Kucha literally means “little talk” or “chitchat”).

The formula for Pecha Kucha is: the speakers talk for twenty seconds about each of their twenty images. The images can be related or timed, to the speaker’s mode of presentation, or not. In a short time I will post a link here on LordFlea to my PK talk that will be posted up on their main website, along with the 20 images projected as my voice is heard speaking. Until then, here are my notes I used to practice my talk, but it’s not verbatim the actual presentation I gave.

My (no notes used!) spoken presentation was on December 10, 2018 in St. Augustine, FL on a very cold night, with a PACKED HOUSE of enthusiastic supporters of ideas, bless ’em, bundled outside, that’s what we do in north Florida!


Image 1

Greetings, you amazing beings of warm Light … only some of us, like me, needed some help to find this fact out! When I was young, I had a lot of fears and confusion about the world around me. But I can’t be the only person who has had to deal with negative emotions, right? My first memories are about flying away, escaping danger in my dreams. I started running away, for real, as soon as I could. Such delicious agony, so scary, so … crippling! I was always wondering what the secret to happiness could be?


Image 2

I soon found out that Love made me feel the best! So I decided to go for the ultimate in its possibilities. Wherever I found Love, that’s where I wanted to be. Love gives the most bang for the buck. It never runs out. The more I gave, the more I got. I began to think of Love as my life’s currency, and wanted to spend it lavishly.


Image 3

After art school, I began to focus on both mythology and love, the two subjects that turned me on the most. But I was still gloomy, and confused a lot. My art as well as my life was filled with angst, because childhood fears still ruled me. The times of my culture were mirroring this angst, people were angry all around me: It was the Vietnam War era. The acts of my government increased my fears a thousand-folk.


Image 4

So I left America. For a whole decade. I wanted nothing to do with the war, or American capitalism and materialism. I was filled with fear and frustration about the future of the world, the state of our sick environment. I had been a early environmentalist; I was so mad about our toxic atmosphere and poisoned waters  and modern-day excesses … I was ready to get violent. So I had to say goodbye to my family, my friends, my country. I wanted to live in more loving surroundings. I had recently learned how to sail so I went to the islands of the West Indies where I immersed myself in Nature: the sea, the land, and hung with the simplest of jungle people. That’s me at the foot of 100-foot-tall bamboos. I explored Nature intimately, and was a botanical illustrator plus an inter-island trader of tropical fruits and veggies.


Image 5

I became like a shape-shifter, becoming One with Nature that all around me, merging with all forms of Nature. My art now interpreted my everyday experiences: living intimately with plants in jungle settings, with people in the most primitive spots I could find, sailing whenever I could, exploring the gifts of the deep blue sea. Nature became my Teacher. Through It, I learned the Power of Unity, another way of saying knowing more intimately, Love’s great Power. Because that’s what I experienced. I became One with Nature all around me. I saw that Life is a web; what we do to one, we do to all. This was my new reality.


Image 6

I began to meditate daily. This is when I discovered that I didn’t have to go anywhere, or do anything to be immersed in Love. All I had to do was go inside and feel the Love within me. I began to do healing work about the deep fears and confusion I’d had all my life. Slowly, I got better. I realized that another expression of Love is called Sacred Consciousness, the Oneness we all are, which is called by many names by different cultures. Some people call the Divine power within, or God, the name of Love. To me, Love is the Light of Consciousness, the universal consciousness which all of humankind innately has. Gradually, I healed my Self, so I could begin to help heal others.

Big Strong Angel, mixed media, 17“x22”x5“

Image 7

My art was now about honoring this Power Within that I had discovered within my Self! No longer was my art about angsty, fear-filled topics like it had been, earlier. Now I made only homages to Nature’s Great Power, within ALL! As I grew more still, and listened to my own heart, I realized the world’s environment and human society desperately called out for the same healing as I had experienced. I made a conscious choice to focus only on positives, not on fears, or evil in the world. I gleefully threw out a lot of my bad old, angsty art.


Image 8

I began exploring all forms of creative energy, another expression of Love’s great Power. Feminine, masculine energies, separately or both, simultaneously, sometimes. Looking for symbols that are universal, that anyone could understand, I painted, drew, made sculptures, wrote about my new passion: to express Oneness: that We Are All One. The Energy of Love became my favorite motif. I found unique ways of expressing it. Because Love within (Self Love) helped heal me, I wanted to help others discover this self-healing they have, too. We can heal the world, one person at a time! I knew Love could change our toxic environment, just as people get healed. To everyone, and in every way I could, I shouted my main subject: Love heals; Fear causes dis-ease.

Family Values, side 1 of floor screen,  6'x5'

Image 9

I became a family person! Then I realized, in my blended family setting (marrying a man whose very young children I helped raise) that “bad things” do happen, but never causes the love to stop, ever! I was Angel Mom to my husband’s two kids. In my blended family I realized challenges are opportunities to transform negatives into positive experiences. Finally, I realized all of humankind is one big blended family.


Image 10

I realized I had completely changed my thinking! Instead of holding onto fears, my work and my life were now about spreading positive solutions to others! Using Love’s great Power is the only way to heal our toxic, challenged world. I knew this because it worked to change my own bad thinking. As we think, we become, I now knew was true. I had discovered the secret of happiness that I’d been searching for all my life. What we hold in our consciousness, our thinking, is what we become, and, in turn, when enough of us think this way, what our world becomes. I said NO to fear, worry, gloom. I said YES to Love in all its many scrumptious flavors. This is the secret of happiness!


Image 11

I nurtured my blended family, and with my art I nurtured the world. I began to write books. I created Lord Flea, this spiritual blog. I wanted to share how great a creative Force that Joy is, a cousin of Love. I documented the resilience, hope, gratitude we can choose instead of hanging onto negativities like hopelessness, fear, anger.


Image 12

Experiencing Oneness became my everyday occurrence, everywhere I went! Interpreting it in my art and my writing became my passion. The stories we tell each other, the dreams we have, the songs we sing, are the healing balm of our very needy world. Instead of conflict, we can look for similarities in others. We can choose to BE happy even though bad things swirl around us, like storms do in Nature. I started calling myself a spiritual activist, because spreading Love however I could, was now my art form.


Image 13

Then, in 2012, the Higgs Bosun was discovered by quantum physicists, who were awarded the Nobel Prize for their long awaited proving of this connective energy force. Nicknamed the God Particle — at last there was tangible proof about what every meditator since time immemorial knows if True (and Albert Einstein predicted in his Theory of Relativity) … that … we are all One. Our connection is now a measurable form of invisible, sub-atomic energy, this energy that is discernible in every single substance available for testing, from Earth and beyond. Love, or consciousness, or “invisible energy” is called many names. I just happen to choose to call that interconnecting energy, simply delicious Love in all its many flavors.


Image 14

Creativity is generated on the right side of our brains. The left side of our brain focuses on the logical use of thought. In order for us to be balanced, energetic beings, we must strive to use both our rational and our creative energies. Love is also a freely operating use of a person’s creative power. The collective unconscious connects us, fills us with inspiration. Solutions for ALL our challenges await us, just waiting to be discovered, if we cultivate creative energy. We are all connected through this positive creative Energy of Love. I am taking recruits for the Army of Love!


Image 15

At this time in our society, we are experienced a great division. But we have a choice. Because our minds are the builders of our lives, we can choose to find similarities between ourselves, instead of focusing on how different we are. Listen to people who are different than us. Reach out to them. The only solution for our numerous world challenges is to USE the tremendous energy of healing, of acceptance, of creative ideas that pour forth from the unlimited Source: the Power of Love we all have, within our own selves.

What we think, we become motivatonal quotes

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It’s true: How we Think, we become. Recognize the choice all of us have! Let’s create a wave of healing, nurturing Love that can overcome any difficulty, any hurt, any evil, any challenge. The Army of Love has the power to end wars, even. There are millions of us enlisted in this Army already, more and more everyday. How we think, we become.

A demonstrator protesting the shooting death of Alton Sterling is detained by law enforcement near the headquarters of the Baton Rouge Police Department in Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Image 17

Iesha Evans is one of us, here when she stood against the armed Riot Squad of Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 2016, showing the force of her steady, serene love in this spectacularly inspiring picture. Anger begets anger. Love breeds more love. Show the Force of your loving acceptance. Be part of the solution, not the problem.


Image 18

So we must be careful about, and watch! the way we think. Our brains don’t know the difference between reality or fantasy. This has been proven scientifically. What our mind focuses on becomes our life’s reality. If you want to help yourself, and the world around you, change your thinking from fear to some form of Love. You create your own reality. What you think, you become. Change your thinking, change your life, and help change the world to a better, safer place to live.


Image 19

Always look for, and you’ll find, chances to celebrate Love. Choose to be filled with Love, the magical elixir of life. Reach out, talk to people who don’t think like you do. Find common ground. Share the JOY.


Image 20

When life doesn’t make sense, or things anger or disappoint us — go within. Follow your breath, focus on Love that burns brightly within, as our connected human consciousness. Solutions are waiting to be discovered for all our challenges. We have a choice, no matter how dire we feel about things going on, outside our own control. In difficult times, go within. Choose to focus on the Light of Love within everything in existence. We are amazing beings of warm, creative Light! What a simply scrumptious idea this is!


Get Ready, Set — GO!

earth energy with yogis at work

we are surrounded by the energy of … Divine LOVE

I’m preparing to give a presentation at our local Pecha Kucha on Dec. 10th, an event attended by fun-loving, supportive, enthusiastic people who love to share ideas. Known as a “mini TED” PK has been around for a few years in our town. Check locally to see if you have this event, or visit the main site and listen to a few good ideas. Or maybe you want to start this great way of communicating and sharing ideas!?! After mid-December you’ll be able to hear my talk on the main website, if all goes as planned. Or check back here as I’ll post a link. And, if you haven’t already, why not sign up (on left column here on LordFlea) to get notices when I have a new post. I’ve been busy writing my third book, so posting here is infrequent, but always fun. I love each and every one of you, and hope you feel my sincere wish to be a part of your life, in what I present. Leave me your thoughts, please. I love hearing from you!

our life energies are all connected

our life energies are all connected

At each new PK there is a different theme. The upcoming one in which I’ll be presenting is the generic word/idea of Delicious.

When I first heard this theme, I immediately thought: “Love is Delicious. Love is also another word for consciousness. That’s what I’m going to talk about.”

Naturally, those of you who follow LordFlea know that my passion in life is consciousness, which is another word for the energy of Divine Love. Words are so fickle, they never clearly describe what is actually meant, so of course I’ll be using some of my art works to describe just exactly WHAT I mean, when I say that “LOVE IS DELICIOUS.”

I’ve been going through many of my past artworks to select images, and am quite amazed at the body of work I’ve amassed! Especially since I barely have done any studio artwork since I decided to focus on getting books out. All my life I’ve always been torn: to write, or to art … teZa’s great conundrum … sometimes I’d do a dance, jumping back and forth, not knowing which of these two loves of mine I could do in a single day. After devoting a good part of my life to creating art, exhibiting it, and eventually getting frustrated at not being able to disperse it to interested parties — I shifted my focus about fifteen years ago. Of course universal consciousness, Love Itself, played a huge part in this decision by giving me such a serious hand injury I could no longer continue making art. I was forced to think: what next. And thus, I HAD to write. That’s why I’m spreading my ideas via words these days, with accompanying illustrations, yes indeedy!

To help myself get organized for PK, I thought I’d share with you a hint about what points I’ll be talking about. First I’m writing these, and then … I’ll be picking twenty different images of art, mostly mine but a few others’ arty images to match these points. Each point gets twenty seconds (the formula for speaking at PKs around the world).

Here’s how I see Delicious:

  1. my first memories are about flying in my dreams
  2. since earliest times, humankind have recorded their memories with art
  3. after learning my craft of art-making, I discovered the only subject that turned me on was either mythology or love, preferably a combination of the two
  4. so I began to explore both, simultaneously
  5. sometimes in art, and sometimes in writing, but always the theme was the flight of fancy that the power of Love has filled all humans with since the beginning of time
  6. after studying Eastern thought, and hearing it from other sources, I realized that another word for Love … is consciousness, and more specifically, the Divine Consciousness of Oneness, called by many other names.
  7. Experiencing Oneness became my passion, some might even say … obsession
  8. I found it in Nature, adventuring in it, exploring its secrets, drawing its details (as a botanical illustrator, first)
  9. I found Oneness by living intimately with plants in jungle settings, and spent a great deal of time in the West Indies in the most primitive spots I could find
  10. I found Unity Consciousness by living closely to the Sea, by traveling long distances upon deep blue waters on sailboats, by diving into Her Mystery .. and always …
  11. Making works of art that I consider homages to Nature’s Great Power: Love
  12. In romantic relationships, I discovered that kind of love the most challenging, and needed a lot of help to figure out who and what was good for me to focus on … until
  13. I met my true love, married, and became Angel Mom to his two young kids
  14. My focus shifted then, from finding a personal relationship with Love to how to spread Love to others, and help heal our toxic world
  15. I wanted to share with people how great Joy is, a cousin of Love
  16. When the Higgs Bosun was discovered, nicknamed the “God Particle” I was delighted, because finally there was proof that we are all One, and our connection is a tangible, measurable form of energy. I just happen to choose to call that interconnecting energy, simply, Love.
  17. Sometimes I have to get very still, and go within, to find that Source of Love within, when outside circumstances are trying, difficult, mean, even violent.
  18. But always, I find it. Love is the elixir of life.
  19. Love is the magic of our DNA’s compelling us to follow our dreams, and believe in the impossible
  20. Love is, surely, the most delicious thing any of us know, whether for a person, place or thing. The energy of connectedness, Love, is part of us, within us, all around us, constantly. In these difficult social times, all of us can choose to focus on the this Light of Love within everything in existence.

Now I’ll dig into my photos and pull out images that will nicely illuminate these points I want to share about Delicious-ness.

Wish you all could be here, to hear me on December 10th! Why not come? St. Augustine is a lovely town to visit. but if you can’t, I’ll post a link here on LordFlea after the presentation for you to check out, if you’re interested. Next post I’ll do will be when I can tear myself away from the final FINAL (I hope!) edit of my next book.

And guess what that next book’s topic is about? You got it! The many different delicious flavors of … LOVE! I’ll be sharing more about the upcoming book soon. If you want to me on my author’s e-mail list be sure to leave me your email so I can send you updates about the soon-to-be-published book! (I never share emails, your privacy is well guarded with me!)

Lots of LOVE, your pal Lord Flea aka teZa Lord

Hybrid Vigor — an Amazed and Astounded Me

In the eighties I took all my earlier, darker attempts of visually documenting my life-discoveries to the dump, where I watched the scavengers come and take my “old” works. These people, poor and without any outside semblance of artistic taste, looked like pack rats scurrying off with leftover crumbs. The crumbs that were paintings made by my own blood, sweat, and tears.

That day at the dump in East Hampton, New York, symbolized the day I was ready to say “No” to the old, useless, no-longer needed part of me, and to say hello and “Yes” to the new, improved, better version of myself.

When I committed to living a sober life I wanted to start all over. A fresh start. It took awhile, but finally I was ready to do it. I loaded my car with all my pre-sober art — feeble attempts (some of them astounding really, and because I’ve always kept photographic records of my art work, none are forever lost) — to the public dump in the fancy East Hampton where I was living at the time. I hid behind some big bulging objects and watched as the gray-faced human scavengers came, and grabbed my brightly colored, weirdly surreal depictions of … dare I say … fear trying to beat up trust. What an exciting subject, eh? Not! If I had to describe what the theme of my “old, pre-sober” work was, it depicted the inner battle between me and my demons. For a subject. boring; but art work astounds without having to benefit the viewer. Nonetheless, I never regretted throwing the crap away, not for a minute.

That day, a new “me” was born: that part of myself I like to call my own Hybrid Vigor. Back when I was a botanical illustrator and assisting with Phd studies, my friend Tim Plowman — then the world’s most renowned authority on coca, the plant from which cocaine was made and the subject of the US Federa; study Harvard was involved in at the time — taught me what a hybrid vigor is, in biological terms.

“If you take two plants of a species which exhibit far superior qualities than any others, and breed them — their offspring is a new, better, vastly improved version of what their parents were. This new plant, a unique sub-species, is a hybrid vigor.”

That day at the dump — getting rid of what didn’t work for me any more, things I didn’t need — I felt reborn. My commitment to living according to a higher code of ethics became my reality. No longer would I abuse myself, nor would I allow anyone else to. I sealed that new reality by sending all my “babies,” my old art, representing years of hard work, learning, experimenting, yet unfortunately also delving in the dimensions of fear and despair, but beautifully, I’d like to think — sent it all far far away from me. By “dumping” these old works I let myself be free, be reborn. Ironically, East Hampton’s dump happens to be in one of the most affluent and fashionable towns in America, so you might be seeing some of these early works on mine as an anonymous collector’s “find” one day.

By ridding myself of what I didn’t need (about my own work, part of my own being) I willed myself to become a hybrid version of myself. I did this without having to physically die and be reborn, to my great good fortune!

I know, I know, this all sounds very fantastical, but this is the way I prefer to see life, as magical, and ever-changing. All things possible, and all that. Technicalities aside, I did become a better, improved version of myself that day.

And so I put to each and every person I can communicate with: you too can become a hybrid vigor version of your old former, no longer needed self, and give birth to your new Self, just by wanting to

When the day arrived, in 1984, when I was ready to get real, get honest, and put down the two decades of trying to self-annihilate the innate sense of connectedness I’d had since childhood (and which I’m sure all children are born with, before losing it due to life’s outside circumstances) — the time had arrived, two years before the dump episode, when I finally decided to get sober. It took that long for me to get clear enough, in my mind, that letting go of old stuff was what I needed to do. Finally, when I took my old “babies” to the dump and gave them to perfect strangers, that’s when I really started living for my true life’s purpose. This what I mean by the “hybrid vigor” version of myself. Not the old, blaming, shamed, victim-one I’d been for thirty-six years previously.


Something similar as what happened to me goes on all the time with the rest of the world. Demons abound. In people and in governments, but like my own former demons (the subjects of my old work), they’re all illusions.

When stress or crisis strikes, we humans have to let our fears out. We have to watch ourselves scream, demand change, prepare to battle the demons, and make known to everyone that evil does not deserve to reside on earth without a damn good fight. We who have conquered our own demons must help others to not hide theirs within their hearts.  Or blame others for what every person alive has the power to change within themselves.

My hybrid vigor self says this: Express the fear, speak about it, share with others. And in that the Light of consciousness will dissipate whatever demon you have, whatever mask fear wears, simply by no longer allowing it to be hidden within your stony, hopeless heart.

Do not pretend fear doesn’t exist. Let our society, our trusted leaders and elected officials know that each and every one of us is responsible for the state our social climate has sunk to. If we see, hear, or feel someone to be mentally in a fragile, dangerous state of murderous rage, it’s our responsibility to get involved. To ask that person who’s in distress if they want help, then go for help. Hybrid vigors speak our fears aloud, because then, because they are not real, the ugly demons inside us run and hide and disappear from the Light of awareness being pointed at them by our own inner Light.

Our job as human beans is not to be paranoid, or worse, pretend fear doesn’t happen. Our job as hybrid vigors is to celebrate great and glorious things, yes! but also to face the evil shadow that lurks beneath the fabric of everyday life and call it what it is — demonic. And then prepare to do battle to slay the demons, one by one, until they are all gone.

I sometimes like to think of we awakened hybrid vigors as “the Army of Love” and I’m one of its active lieutenants. This images makes me smile. So I’ll keep working with that idea.

When more of us (the Army of Love increasing every day with the awakening of humankind happening in vast numbers) can all admit that yes, there is a shadow of hatred in some hearts, we can lovingly help each other heal from this breach, this tear in the fabric of our toxic, fear-filled world. With each unfortunate, next violent senseless action, another rip happens in the fabric of our human civilization, as if our Oneness is a gigantic weaving of humanity. We are all One. We can help each other heal, re-build trust, mend our brokenness, but only when we’re able to admit that fear must be spoken about, in order to eradicate it. Only then we’ll come to trust that love is much much stronger than hate.

Fear remains in our hearts when we haven’t owned how we are all responsible for helping each other to climb higher, let go of mistrust and embrace a higher way of living. Hybrid vigors helping others to peel off their lesser shells, and step out into the Light of their new, better, higher Selves.

Together, we will get over our individual and collective fears. As hybrid vigors we will all thrive on the same level of awareness — of openness to our highest potential. We must trust that Universal Love, also called Compassion, and Oneness. Love in its most expansive, inclusive form is bringing us together for a reason.

We must never pretend that all is well when it’s so obvious that our society is sick. Every bit of energy we spend to help heal our human condition is worth the endeavor.

First, we must firmly believe our world, its environment, humankind’s fear-based structures, are completely heal-able. This fact of our toxicity is proven each times a person, or a leader, goes off, gets unkind, does scarry and unreasonable things with others’ trust. When life’s evil and darkness is revealed, like it is during a mass shooting, or a bizarre politic event as have occurred in recent time, we must trust that the worst, most depraved individual can be mended. And if one person can change themself into a hybrid vigor, so can all of us.

Every person who has ever put down a negative, addictive way of thinking, for instance, is proof of that.

When the world comes together by means of our combined, positively-focused minds, focused on fostering healing energies instead of endless manifestations of fear — our world will take the giant leap to our next step in spiritual evolution.

Send healing wherever it’s needed. Even to the most deranged, hopeless individual. Even to a scary leader whose volatile nature nobody trusts.

The group is much greater than any individual. We are all connected.

We can heal anything. We can spread the balm of love as surely as some try to deny its existence.

How can I say these things?

Because it is my reality. It is how I have chosen to see life. After experiencing the other side, I have the authority to speak like this. I no longer care what others think of me. Fear leads nowhere but to self-destruction and I no longer choose that. People kill other people because they want the ultimate control over whether they live or die. Control and and Kindness are antithetical. If a controller can’t control others by simpler means, they sometimes do simply because they don’t have the courage to end their own lives, the ultimate control one has over themselves: taking themselves out. Suicide.

We can heal any darkness by focusing on the Light. Speak uplifting, kind words to one another. Spread joy and hope; say no to fear, blame, and anger. It takes practice, but changing fear into trust is the way I have sworn to live. There is no other choice for me. And I’m willing to take whatever consequences may arise, as a result of my being so sure that allowing ourselves to become a hybrid vigor, right in this lifetime, is the saving grace, the future of humankind’s survival.

Call me crazy, but I’d rather be crazy within infinitely expanding love than frozen with constricting fear. That former life of mine sucked.

It’s about Time!

I Stand Naked Before You ... with My Book!

I Stand Naked Before You … with my books!

When I”m involved in a serious edit of a book I find it challenging to get sidetracked and don’t do much multi-tasking like writing a blog post, posting on social media, submitting my previous books to appropriate venues so people can find them. While in the writing-mode I do what I can, and let go of what I can’t comfortably take on. I have to make “space and time” in my daily work to write a random thought, as I indulge in here.

But … so many times I’ve WISHED I could have time to share here. What are some of the ideas I’ve had that didn’t get written about, just because of time limitations on my part? I’m going to list a few here, and we’ll see how much time I can spare to explore them.


Time Flies when ….

  • Time, of itself, is an interesting topic with many aspects

There are only so many hours in each day, week, month, year, and in our lifetime. Every minute counts for me these days, because I have certain goals that are time-oriented. My consort Carter and I, for instance, want to travel a lot now that he’s retired, and plan on taking off for extended periods of time, so I have to finish these TWO BOOKS that I’m working on; one at a time, don’t worry!

I heard a spiritual teacher talk about “Time” the other day. It was a very deep, very esoteric approach to, what essentially the teacher claimed, was the falsehood of time. I couldn’t disagree more! (Some spiritual teachers are so FULL of themselves! Really!)

Simply put, I believe time is a “tool” by which we can measure ourselves (and others, other things), our progress, our growth, and our civilization’s, the multiverse’s own evolution.

I used to wonder why I was born into such a strange, user-unfriendly-to-me family as I found myself in. But as I grew more awake and aware, I realized this so-strange family of mine was actually a very good “tool” by which I could see how far I was advancing along the path of higher understanding. I stopped judging them, in other words, and saw “their worth” in terms of time and space. With that view (using my family as a metaphysical “yardstick”) I could more easily accept my “weird family” and even be thankful for having been born into that particular one. By this method, I could see, at last, how fortunate I was to be born to them, and stopped comparing myself to them. Time-measuring like this helped me realize I’d come a long way. It helped me feel more accepting of them, and me, just the way we all are.

T.I.M.E. — in my recovery from negative addictions, this acronym was taught to me, right at the beginning of my journey to sobriety, to mean: T.his I. M.ust E.arn. To have “time” in spiritual recovery means, simply, a measurement of how long we haven’t put any mood-altering substances in our body. Period. A simple, easy, good “tool” by which a person like myself (formerly addicted to self-loathing) can start to feel good about ourselves, by beginning to accrue “time” in recovery. Today I have 34 years.

Another measurement of time that pleases me, helps my self-esteem grow exponentially, are the 27 years we’re celebrating next week, in which I’ve been blessed to be married to my beloved husband, Carter Lord. Together, we raised his two small children who today are healthy and happy and well-balanced adults of 31 and 34.

If it wasn’t for me having learned to use time more wisely, I’d not be where I am today. I’ve published two books already in the last two years, and I have two more in the works. Without setting goals, using time periods as aids in which to achieve these important goals, I’d never have been able to do what I’ve done. It’s hard work to put a book together!

I can’t reiterate enough how important it is to me, having learned to “prioritize” my time. I often feel overwhelmed, as I’m sure many of you do, too. But what helps me eliminate this feeling of can’t do it all! is to write out what I have on my plate, whether for that day, week, month, or year — and then make a clear list prioritizing those items, as many times as it takes to get ’em all done. For me there’s a big difference between wanting to and needing to do something. That’s been my biggest help, in learning how to use my time well. What do I really need to do? The “wants” can wait, unless of course it’s that bit of chocolate I’m willing to do a few more rounds of hot yoga to work off the extra calories!

With all the demands of an author (after all, who’s going to market the work if the author doesn’t?) I’ve had to prioritize that writing the next book means more to me than making more sales with the previous two. My plan in this area, is to take an entire year to learn how, and then do the marketing side of authorship … AFTER the next two books are published. Arriving at this clear goal of mine meant I had to be clear about what my priorities are, as an artist/author. I’m more interested in creating really great books than in who knows about them; that can come organically … in time. Hopefully, I’ll be able to be a super marketing person, when I get to that part of my years-ahead plan.

Here’s the next topic that’s been on my mind:

Guardian of the Sky, mixed media, 27“x60”

People love to kevetch!

  • The Uproar over Kavanaugh

I hesitate to make any comment on LordFlea that might be interpreted as political, because I’m a nonpartisan, independent person who didn’t vote for a thousand years, and have only come back into the voting-American tribe since marrying and becoming a righteous-acting stepmother. I thought being responsible for raising someone else’s kids (the bio-mom’s I mean, who had very restricted parenting rights) warranted having an opinion about how our government ought to be. So yes, I do vote, but no, I don’t engage in controversy. Everyone ought to vote, but after elections it’s important in my mind, mostly spiritually important, to accept whatever candidate got voted in. I’m not saying “the majority voted” because as we all know, the presidential-vote political system in the USA does not rely on that method but rather the “electoral college.” If you don’t know what that is I urge you to google it or watch a YouTube explanation. It’s fascinating. And I heartily agree with its constitutional use, for the official record.

So, how do I feel about Judge Brett Kavanaugh? Supposedly the vote is being called by the Senate either today, or tomorrow. Notwithstanding, I’m going to state anyway, right now, how I feel, without putting any bet on whether he’s going to be or not granted this high privilege of serving as a Supreme Court Justice in the United States of America.

What I am going to affirm is this: we in America are all innocent until we’re proven guilty. I speak as a person who once was thrown into jail (yes, little ol’ me) in a country that did not operate by those standards, a country in which a person is guilty until proven innocent. This happened in the Dominican Republic, folks, part of my unusually rambunctious past. To be called guilty when one knows otherwise, is a horrible thing.

But … I must be perfectly honest, as a recovering alcoholic, who was also a teenage imbiber of great measure (as Kavanaugh supposedly was) I can attest to the fact that anything, repeat anything! can happen when a true alcoholic drinks to excess. We suffer blackouts, most of us alchies do. It’s considered one of the “official symptoms” or “signs” of a true alchie as opposed to someone who “just likes to drink a lot.” I was a teenage blackout drinker, starting from fifteen on. Whatever Kavanaugh was accused of, I can easily believe really happened. But, I can also see how he might not remember, truly. If a person once suffered blackout(s) they actually don’t know what happened during that time-warp (an alcohol-soaked brain going on the blink) blackout unless someone either tells them, or shows them a video tape or they hear a recording (which happened to me, and led to my getting help, finally, in my mid-thirties).

Another time aspect of Kavanaugh’s situation is the huge time and energy wasted on people being so unforgiving, so pissy, so viciously uptight, so mean, so cruel, and other un-compassionate un-spiritual ways they’ve been over this teenage knuckleheadedness (guilty! I am, too!) that I’ve been sickened by the whole time-consuming lion-roaring circus. Of course the showman sensationalism surrounding the Supreme Court vacant seat-fiasco taking place in the Senate goes hand-in-hand with this challenging time of bizarre carnival-esque behavior emanating from the highest office of our glorious land. I easily understand this is a time in our American society of people feeling mixed, betrayed, confused and so let down … that I’m left with feeling for both sides of the fight.

All I know is that I’ve doubled up on my prayers, directing my spiritual energies toward  the peaceful, harmonious sorting-out of all chaotic strings and strands of these hard times we’re living through.We are being tested, all of humankind, in many realms.

Together, as a family of humans, all I know to be True is this: Our humanity will see us through anything. We will get through these times. The tests that our current challenging times bring, will be met, one by one, event by event, crisis by crisis. We will survive, we will grow, we will all become better people … once we’re through the hard times.

We are evolving. Our entire race is transforming as a result of all the many challenges we’ve been through. This simple statement is true, and has been so since the beginning of recorded history. True for our species, true for each individual’s life as well. These times we’re going through now are no different than earlier times in human evolution. People want to control each other. Nothing’s changed. But we as a family of humankind, are changing. Yes we are! We are learning from our mistakes. We are growing, getting better as human beings, because we’re learning to choose better. We are becoming better spiritual beings in our human incarnations. One crisis at a time, one person’s heart and mind is opening, one of us at a time.

This, by the way, happens to be the subject of the current book I’ve been working on, to which I’ve been devoting my creative time for these past months, and why you’ve not seen a blog post from LordFlea lately. Today I’m taking a break from the end of my 3rd major edit, and … as soon as I press “publish” for this post I’m jumping back into the next stage of writing. I hope to get this new book out (it’s about Love in all its many forms, that’s all I’m saying about my latest book for now) … in the next few months.

Wish me well! As I send wishes of harmony, peace, and happy times to all of you!

Your pal who loves you, LordFlea, aka teZa Lord