Why Oh Why Go Anywhere?

flies waiting at the john

flies waiting at the john

Stuck here at JFK airport for friggin hours, on our way back from Carter’s 50th HS reunion at Phillips Exeter Academy the last four days. It’s madness here in delta wing. Flight now delayed and maybe we’ll remain vagabonds wandering the aisles forever and ever and ever.

Plus we had a sleepless night when, after returning from a great Evening out with old time friends to find a next crises surrounding our daughter’s newly-divorced situation. All is well in that category now but carter the consort Had to expend great deal of energy to rectify. We’ll be home Past midnight — and it’s times likes these that one feels like never Going beyond ones own comfortable palace. Oh, did I mention the airport colds we’re nursing? The delayed-by-9 hours flight (never fly anything but direct!), and … the lost luggage we’ll no doubt shortly discover (yes, we did!). But Lucky Us to have such palaces, our homes! I’m rushing back to my desk and drawing board, anxious to finalizE my book — and have plans for the next and the next ones as well.

While in Exeter I got to visit my old
Cambridge-pal, the artist who lived on top floor of me when I was barely 20 — where I first met you. We hardly ever see each other but when we do it’s sweet. She still smokes pot every day and admittedly is a daily 1-2 glass wino, and I can tell she’s stuck in that lack of direction because of that. Last time I saw her she said the same things,”why do I keep doing this?”.
I didn’t wanna tell her she’s an addict, even though she has a sweet house In the country, a pothead-environmentalist husband, an well regarded following and active-with-students studio And extensive organic garden. Makes me appreciate my sober life even more Than ever. Besides, traveling consumes energy. Sustainable living means staying put. I’m planting myself next to my tomatoes. Except for that occasional fling in Costa Rica.

Couldn’t get good internet in Hampton inn we stayed at so
Will check out that video you sent me
Tomorrow. Big hug from
Tired teZ aka Lordflea
Ps. Remind me never to go thru
JFK
Ever
Again. Amen. Helpme
Not
Kill the
Next
Screaming
Kid.
Ha fucking ha

Listen to your Inner Wisdom

Sing the praise of Oneness

Bloggin while driving . . .

On our way to the airport driving son cully who’s joining daughter Fonya in
Missoula Montana where she and her new hubby Kurt live. This is my first post using my iPhone. Testing you might say. Guess later I’ll upload some art but let’s try a photo from my phone okay? Here’s our christmas tree in St Augustine.

Staring at my feet

Friends,

the importance of what i spend my time doing the most of has been central in my thinking of late. y’know: you are what you eat, and you certainly become what you think. that’s why i haven’t been bloggin’ as of late. wanted to keep centered in my heart, and not just spew, at least for the sake of spewing.

i do this occasionally. withdraw and feel life living me, instead of trying to be so active, so concerned, so consumed with “other” that i forget this experience of life itself. here’s another way of looking at it:

the interconnectedness of All

the interconnectedness of All

all i have is my self, and my Self–the little me that squirms with responsibilities and worries, and the big Me that knows there is more to this life than i’ll ever know…and to feel the majesty, the magic, the wonder of it all is more than enough for me to be concerned about. certainly enough upon which to base my creative energies’ pursuits–my arting, as i call it, whether i paint, draw, make a garden, a cake, or sew a sail, write a book–or blog.

this feeling of being connected to all came to me as a child. then i lost it. then i rediscovered it later, mostly through working on getting rid of the garbage that my mind collected over the years. now i have trained myself to stay as much as possible in that simple place, that inner place, where the breath connects with even the movement of faraway galaxies, and the knowledge, the Truth of feeling connected is real–this is my daily experience.

the drawing i use as an example shows us all in our “Higher Self”… our so-called “angelic” bodies…that part of our nature that is connected to the Highest good for all. yes–we all have that in our nature, whether you are aware of it or not, whether you exercise that birthright, that ownership of your highest nature, or not.

living in the moment; accepting our sacredness, our divine nature–our Higher Self: this is the way of living i want to share with you, not because of any other reason but my humble offering to help make the world a better place to live in.

we are not all just scrambling around trying to get something to eat, or make happen, or elect, or conquer, or succeed, or even be good at. but yes, we all exisit as individual cells within the larger “thing” that makes up this known reality…what is called the Universe (and some call, simply, “God”).

we're all a part of a whole

we are all One, breathe, and feel: Truth

many other things have passed my mind, and of course i’ve been doing many (many!) other things since my last entry here. don’t worry. some of you who read my blog might think i’m just a holy-roller who only sits around contemplating my navel. but no—-i have a family, a job, lots of social duties, and creatively i’m consumed by writing a nonfiction narrative, illustrated, naturally, which i am debating about uploading here, so i can let you, friends on my web, read as i write, day by day. but…i haven’t decided to or not. ha ha! all i can say for now is…writing this book is certainly my immediate, and main creative focus, not this blog.

my garden has been covered with an entire truckload of mulch, delivered free by a tree-man who took down a big One over at my mother’s place. Carter and i’ve been doing lots of HOT HOT yoga, in our little yoga shed, which i call the santosa shack (santosa being contentment in Sanskrit). we chant, we meditate, we even attend his church, ahhweeee, diversity in God-liness! lots of cooking (made dosas twice this past couple weeks…a lentil and rice fermented east Indian flat bread, terribly exotic tasting, and terribly nutritious because of the legume and grain mixture). what else? oh so much biking, hiking, rehabing my knee, still injured from dancing too fiercely at daughter’s wedding way back in June. injuries take energy. life takes care. time is precious. do i use it wisely? i try to. when i lay my head down on my pillow, i feel rewarded by deep, comforting, beautiful sleep. what a gift, life is.

i will do a page next, i promise, on a subject i’ve been thinking a lot about: what to say to someone who is really, truly, either physically, spiritually, or mentally suffering.  because recently i ran into an old acquaintance, who has all the world at her feet: she’s rich, successful, socially powerful and consciously humanitarian beyond measure—but—she’s absolutely miserable.  the only outer proof, however, is that of her uncontrollable, mind-numbing, self-pitying drinking.  of course she’s in denial about having a drinking problem. and i simply can’t share with her my own experience in that matter (being in alcohol and drug addiction recovery now for my third decade)…but i can post a page here. perhaps one day a chink will open in her tightly-bricked-up facade, and what a person formerly-miserable (me) has to share with another who still is (her), will make a difference.

a little light in the well of darkness, that’s all i attempt to do…with my art, with my words, and now with this public web-spew.

so look on the right hand side in a day or say and you’ll see a new page. those pages stay up, where this post side changes when i enter a new one.

whew! i finally figured that out! now, if only i can find my beautiful color paintings. let me see, let me try again. a treat for you, perhaps?

plants, animals, mineral--we are all One

plants, animals, mineral--we are all One

i love each and every one of you, truly! lord flea

makin’ do with what you’ve got

excuse me while i chuckle.

just got an email from my friend terry, who has just moved to moloki, hawaii, to caretake a 2,000 acre health/wellness/meditation complex with her hub, om-tom. she was writing me how hard it is, how things are just not running right, equipment breaking down, computer stolen when they went in a rented car to the main island–oh, what else, oh yeah, the makeshift computer doesn’t work, and on top of that, there’s no phone reception.

life is rough.

my partner is having a hard time, too–life is challenging these days. it seems to me we’re having not just an economic crisis, but a spiritual one as well. here’s one way of looking at it, a la art:

keeping mind-ful in the midst of hell

keeping mind-ful in the midst of hell

after a decade of living on islands in the “third-world” i can empathize  with you, terry, perhaps more than others…and know that you are just living the life that happens, when you’re not on “the continent.” it’s just the way it is on islands. but the “pros” you will experience, and have, and continue to, will FAR outway the “cons”… believe me. living separate from “all that is” is sooooo spiritually fulfilling, and fun! just write me whenever you get down, and i’ll jump up and dance with you, my friend, and share with you my experience of developing patience, tolerance, and … quite a snotty attitude, actually, that “i’ve learned to do better” than ordinary continentals, as we call them. Because once you get used to adversity being the way it is, always! and learn to adapt to “what is,” … a person changes. we become so much more an “in the flow” kind of person. and that’s really where the Self resides. being in constant contact with true Inner Peace takes hard work. but the rewards? living a good life, even in the midst of unprecedented adversity.
 
who needs things to flow smoothly all the time? that’s so…predictable! ha ha! look at me, miss positive. but i’m not there, where you are, terry, right? but … if i wasn’t here, taking care of mom, you bet that’s where i’d be. i can’t wait to pack my bags and leave “ever-reliable, oh so abundantly efficient” america (or any continental place)…and go to live with the simpler, more “don’t care” kind of folks—the islanders.
 
sorry about losing your mac, though. that’s a bummer. we get spoiled, don’t we? i still use a dinosaur p.c., but i’m happy.

here’s a little cheer-up for my pals terry and om-tom out there in molokai. when life gets tough, when our nerves start to shout! ouch! here’s one solution—retreat into your ever-abundant imagination…yes, just float away in a story. even if you haven’t got bread to eat, you still have your imagination and you that can fill a person right up to the top!

this character sitting in the middle is my good pal Cleozed. he’s a composite, as you can see: man, plant, fish, and –what else?

Cleozed and Hummin'womb-an

Cleozed and Hummin

walk in the unlimited-ness of your being…expand your possibilities, and come fly with me! how, you ask? just breathe…long breath in…long breath out…ahhhhhh-men, and ahhhhhhh-women, too!

in the Light, lord flea

we’re more similar than dissimilar

hi world,

do you recognize yet how much more similar all we humans are than dissimilar?

we are One

we are One

these days i’m thinking about the warm inside feeling i get when i think about behind human, particularly at this auspicious time in human history.  things are in such flux, aren’t they?  the world is quickly changing.  people are becoming awakened in record numbers than any other time, and ancient prophecies of “the time of reckoning” is quickly approaching (2012, I believe has been mentioned by many sources, as being pivotal to earthly existence).  things will never be the same again after 9.11, i knew that the day it occured.  that heart-stopping black tuesday.  i was not there, but it felt like i was.  i had visions of the event in my meditations that have greatly influenced my thinking, and the purpose of my life.

and now, less than 40 days before the november election, everyone here in America is all heated up with the passions of choices and preferences!  yes yes yes, now is the time to be heated!  yes yes yes.  get out there and do whatever you can to ensure your choice gets elected … speak, shout, argue, implore, poll, canvas–do whatever it takes. 

but–and this is the difference between spiritualized peole and non-spiritualized–when the tally has been counted and the new president has been elected, please commit to supporting whomever is elected.  whichever party ends up in power (it is a party thing, not an personality contest, right?), it is the Spiritually Correct (SC instead of PC, ha ha!), the humanly right thing to do, to support an elected official that has been chosen by the democratic process we honor in the U.S.A. 

after 9.11 a lot of people started to bad mouth our current president, George W. Bush.  to tell you the truth, i wasn’t any happier than the next guy about what was going on, but i nonetheless felt it was my spiritual duty to support him.  why?  because things are never what they appear to be.  i feel very strongly that i, as a private citizen (even though pretty well informed, compared to some) can never know what the insiders, the diplomats, the elected representatives of the citizenry knows.  how could a private person possibly think they can know what the politicians, the military, the professionals in charge of information-gathering and decision making know.  it’s simply not possible.

we don’t know how to perform brain surgery, most of us, but we do allow a surgeon to do his job without interfering in his methods.  similarly, i have determined it’s the spiritually correct thing to do to support our leaders, once they’ve been democratically elected, which mr. Bush, for better or for worse, was.  the time for dissention is over, in my SC committed existence, once the election is over.  and with bush, the time to bitch was over late in Nov. ’00, then then again in ’04.

so…be it wrong or right…i have learned to make a decision based on my spiritual “correctness” gauge (what would my teacher do…in any particular case? i ask myself) and have since the beginning of his term, decided to give Bush the benefit of the doubt, and not voice dissent, even though in my heart i was no more certain of his methodology than the next guy (hey! does that brain surgeon have to use that scapel, need to take that tissue sample? right then? over there?).  deciding to support our legally-elected leader doesn’t mean my confusion was cleared away by my decision to do the spiritually correct thing.  no, it simply means that i remain silent when others gather to discuss and usually end by dissing the current administration, for daring to do what they did.  i’m quite sick of the ugly dissention and hope this upcoming election will end it.  it probably won’t.  it seems human nature is for people to bitch.  that’s why political ads, just as toothpaste ads, love to put down their competitors.  it’s base, ugly, non-spiritualized human nature, and unfortunately, that kind of half-asleep-ness is still the majority of the population throughout the world.

YET…the consciousness of all is awakening.  the time for awareness–the real CHANGE–is happening. 

is it wrong or right to support an unpopular leader of a nation that elected him, when so many others seem to delight in dumping on g.w.?  even though many feel he stole the election from gore?  who am i, to be so presumptuous, to think i know more than the tens-of-thousands of people involved in the presidential decision, to think what he’s done is wrong?  how insanely presumptuous that thought is, to me.

but for the answer to my inner questions, i have to go within. 

going within in times of turmoil

going within in times of turmoil

when in doubt, i always find my true answers within.  not by listening to the conflicting opinions of intellectuals, fast-talking political pundits, or even the opinion of my friends, associates and the vastly popular, majority opinion.  i go within to discover what my heart-mind says is true–for me–and i listen to no one when i go within.  i listen to the Source of All.

going within, resting in the heart-mind

going within, resting in the heart-mind

this is the process i call “awareness, acceptance, action.”  i use this three-part process for each and every tiny or large step i’ve taken, in my journey to undo my childhood hang-ups, neurosis, mental tendencies and obstructions, or any other challenges that have blocked my ability to live a happy peaceful productive life.  whether it’s political, personal, or universal concepts i need to figure out, i do so with “awareness, acceptance, action” and have thus learned to function at an amazingly high happy level of inner peace…most of the time.

like the Dalai Lama said in a book i read by him recently, “i’m not perfect.  i just keep trying.  i recongize my mistakes, and try to do better the next time.”

the above painted screen is my way of trying to render in imagery, and humbly duplicate the extremely calmly experience of becoming aware…and once aware, simply sitting in the feeling of that new awesome state, so expansive, so honey-rich with wellness, blissfully full.

this screen (two-sided) is my weird way of trying to say “the acceptance of awareness” feels awfully damn great!! beautiful enough to create fine art about.

when i’ve accepted something (like higher consciousness), i no longer have any inner (or outer) dialogue of dissention.  it simply is.

how to connect with the state of awareness: take long, deep breathes somewhere quiet, alone, serene, clean.  put any issue, situation, person, etc. into that center of quietness, once you have reached the place (through continued deep breathing) where disturbing thoughts no longer pierce the emptiness of pure awareness (within us all).  then… just listen.  listen to the Truth that emanates from the heart-mind (of all).  serenity fills (all).  Truth is pure love (in all).  Truth is pure awareness (for all).  Truth is “seeing” things that you cannot discern in “ordinary” states of consciousness (awake, sleeping, thinking, analysing, etc.).  Truth is also God speaking, but one must be very quiet in order to hear this, and have already gone through the stages of purification (no addiction, no neurosis leftovers, no inner chatter dissention) in order to “hear” this pure voice of the Divine that awaits us all … in emptiness.

often i receive answers to the questions i put out to the Universe.  sometimes they’re as clear and as loud as inner “billboards.”  sometimes i just receive a “feeling” — something like being allowed to bathe my aching hurt (mental, physical, or spiritual) in pure soothing Love.  surrounded by the sea of Truth, the ocean of Love, the atmosphere of pure Bliss, the solution to problems becomes quite clear, quite simple, quite obvious.  quite Right.  learning to do this kind of discerning is called viveka, “spiritual discrimination,” in yogic scriptures.  Truth is here all the time, if we can all learn to quiet our “monkey mind” as the buddhists call our inner chatter (also known as the “freight-train” mind in other circles), and learn to go within to tap this incredibe Source of wisdom.

once i realize my Truth i can take action.

inner wisdom as inspiration for worldly action!

inner wisdom as inspiration for worldly action!

and thus…the process of

  • awareness
  • acceptance
  • action

can easily take place within us all.  but we must go within to do it.  most of us are too lazy to go within, but–i’ve learned it’s so delicious that i actually look forward to the time when i can meditate, go within, and relax in my inner Self. 

being human is about having choices.  we all can go within and listen to our inner “guide,” that wisdom within, the Source that is innate, pure consciousness that’s available to all of us, which represents Truth.  this inner Truth is more reliable than any politician’s campaign promise, or presidential decision.  the inner Truth is, in fact, subliminally influencing our ever expanding grasp on evolutionary possibilities, more than any organized group or culture, be they religious, political, scientific, social, or philosophical.

i know that you are just like me: that we are One, that we all are connected by our inner consciousness.  that is the Truth i have discovered in my quest for knowledge of what this life is all about.

the connectedness of all

the connectedness of all

truthfully, i trust no politician.  democrat or republican.  but i am voting, and my vote will be the best i can do.  but whomever wins i will support wholeheartedly.  i hope each and every one of my fellow americans will also support our newly elected leader. my wish is that we can leave this time of dissention behind us, and enter a phase of healing and growth that will help the entire world to come together as One.

in the Light, lord flea … sending gleaming banners of joyous, energizing white Light around the democratic process of election

passionate politics

dear friend,

the election is fast approaching and with it, passions are flaring, tempers heating, and this is great! NOW is the time for people to express themselves, actively promote their choice, say what they want to say, and defend the position of whatever candidate they’ve chosen to support.

it’s talking heads everywhere!

opinions, passions, choices--everywhere!

opinions, passions, choices--everywhere!

 for someone like me, who basically doesn’t trust ANY politician, but feels by the very nature of politics one who has entered that realm of public life has to be a magician, of sorts, to persuade the masses to believe their views–i can only pray that the choices we all make will serve the highest good for all.

and that when the dust settles, in the late evening of November 7, whoever is the winner will be the most enlightened choice of the people’s collective will.  yes, NOW is the time to voice our passions about which candidate is ours — but after the election, i hope the country of America will enjoy a period of healing, and rally around the new chief.  in other words, i hope whoever wins, does so by a landslide.  otherwise, i’m afraid, there’s going to be more back-biting and bitterness from the opposing political parties.  and quite frankly, i’m sick of it!

i don’t trust any politician.  but i will vote.  who i vote for is my own business.  how i believe in a universal force of such magnitude that politics is a mere ant’s footprint in its shadow, is my business here.

that’s why you’ll not be hearing any more political talk from me, lord flea.

so voice your choice loud and clear, my friend!  be active!  get connected, get out there and talk, argue, and make your point — but after Nov. 8th, please be kind and support whomever is chosen to lead this country.  we have some tough times ahead of us.  we need to be united in order to grow as a nation, as a people, as individuals.

be well, be loving, be kind to one another.

we are ONE -- a united family of humankind

we are ONE -- a united family of humankind

i spoke to my hopi native american friend, binky person, today.  he and i laughed and cried and shared our frustrations, and were amazed at how similar we are.  he, who has tried to teach his fellow indians to uphold the sacredness of the “old ways” feels ineffectual, even despised by his people.  binky feels no one wants to remember the sacredness of life here on earth.  i told him he has affected me deeply, and that counts.  i’ll write more of my new friendship with hopi binky in future posts.

in the Light, lord flea

global mala

dear One,

yesterday we met on St. Augustine beach and formed a human mala; a rosary bead of intent.  the focus of our 108 sun salutes, followed by 108 chants of Om was global peace.  sending out our prayers as action (hatha yoga asanas) and sound (the seed mantra, Om) was a glorious way to be active, to participate in being part of the solution, instead of remaining part of the problem.

the sound of peace, the sound of God consciousness … the sound of Om:

visualizing the power of Om as its vibrations resonate throughout the atmosphere

visualizing the power of Om as its vibrations resonate throughout the atmosphere

 

try it yourself.  why not now?  or soon.  find a quiet place, all by yourself or with a like-minded friend.  get quiet.  breathe deeply.  set your intention that this sound of Om, this ancient sound that the sages say was the sound of creation that was first heard by those who sought answers to such things, intend to send out your tone with this ancient note.  send it out to the world.  help heal the world with your sound.  forget politics for this moment.  forget the strife.  forget the confusion.  focus on sending out the positive vibrations that are here, for all of us, at any given moment.  all we have to do is listen, and then join in with our voices.

breathe out long.  breathe in long … now make this beautiful sound with your own tone.  make this sound over and over until you feel you have sounded and become One with Truth It-Self.

what an expansive, rewarding feeling.  enjoy!  over and over!  whenever you can.

i send you my loving sound also, Om with me, lordflea

a song for all

Greetings from another, just like the others.

yes, I sing the song of our hearts, loud and clear.

my name, lord flea? you wonder?

i gave this name to myself in honor of a now-gone calypso singer from de eye-lands. like him I am a watcher, a commenter, a person who cares. i want to share with the world, but only of things of spirit,

In Spirit, lord flea sings.

in fact i am just like you and you. to sing out loud, with no tags (such as male, female, white, black, yellow, pink, republican, democrat, arab, jew, christian, liberal, tight-ass, etc. etc.) i am a mystery, on purpose.

and that’s what this life is like…a mystery.

the native americans call existence on earth the Mystery. and i agree. IT is.

 

glad to meet you all!! i’ll be posting regularly and sharing with you my thoughts and my art. here’s a little taste.

the Mystery, as lord flea sees it

the Mystery, as lord flea sees it