Introducing — #InTheI

My next book will be available this week! On Amazon and all other book-getting sites. And the audible book, narrated by yours truly will quickly follow. It’s being edited right now. I am soooooo excited, folks! Spread the word! The great reviews indicate people LOVE this book, its message, its uplifting inspiration and on-your-seat story.

Love and Light for ALL

spreading HOPE JOY LOVE is my mission as writer/artist!

One of my greatest passions in life is to share with others the tools that worked to change my career path from that of an soon-to-be middle-aged loser to a completely reformed, dedicated member of the mindfulness and positive-thought tribe.

The events related in In the ‘I’ occurred in a juvie lockup some years ago when I was the teacher, not the inmate. But I’d already spent time bucking my true calling, ending up in a prison of the worst sort. Not just the third-world one in which my body was finally incarcerated in, but within the locked-up thinking that my closed and negative mind-set had created for me, as well.

In the ‘I’ is about the class I offered girls in prison, as a volunteer. Called “Miss T’s yoga and meditation class” by the at-risk girls who attended each week, the book chronicles our discoveries coinciding a major hurricane’s eye traveling right toward the isolated facility in central Florida.

To the government offices that received our facility’s reports, asking for continued funding so this high security correctional facility could operate, and the academy could offer more than regular high-school classes and individual psychological counseling, in official papers our yoga-and-meditation class was euphemistically deemed as: “Empowerment Techniques.”

As Hurricane Charley was being tracked deep in the heart of Florida’s cattle and citrus country (having already rampaged through central Cuba the night before that August 13th back in 2004) I’d already been teaching Empowerment Classes for several years at the high-fenced, triple-locked prison for teenage girls. The Academy of Bowling Green (ABG) housed 52 girls who’d been adjudicated for repeat offenses, their anti-social behavior seen as both drug- and mental health-related. Other than being rounded up and housed together, in all other ways except ABG’s efforts, they’d been abandoned by a system that doesn’t help at-risk kids at all. After six months of going to ABG, I was rewarded with pay, unasked for but a welcomed addition to the budget of my family’s suburban home at the time, more than a hour’s drive away.

While Hurricane Charley gathered speed after leaving Cuba, Miss Ursula, the founder of this unique experimental facility, who also served as ABG’s Mental Health Director, started repeatedly calling Miss Estelle, the head of security. After the cyclone shifted course, hitting much further south than anticipated, Charley’s eye was reported to be “heading up the Peace River corridor”—straight for where the girls and their caregivers at ABG were huddling in fear, anticipating the worst.

That Friday the 13th, after trying to drive through the heavy storm conditions Ursula and her car filled with co-workers was forced to turn back to their St. Pete’s Beach homes, seventy miles distant from ABG.

As Charley gathered speed, I relate from my distant-in-another-direction home, how our Empowerment classes were regularly held. What we did in them. First we’d focused on our breath, settling into our deeper, inward selves, our inner ‘I’  as I refer to this peaceful inner state everyone has, if only a person wishes to know about it. I relate how our circle of 12-girls-and-I talk for a short while about yoga-related topics, such as “How to be more calm,” “How to feel untouched by outside stress,” “How to choose to be positive,” and other practical things. We then begin our hatha (physical) poses, some simple, some challenging. And we always end by resting on the floor (the girls’ favorite!) in a short meditation period.


resting in the calm of our inner ‘I’

At the back of the classroom sat black-and-white uniformed Mr. Lawrence, usually the assigned guard, who constantly listened to the chirps of his mandatory walkie-talkie that was on all of the many guards’ hips at this busy, hectic, noisy reform school for what society deemed “hardcore incorrigibles.” That’s the term the Girl Scout director called these girls who’d been forgotten by the rest of society, when I went to ask, and received, sponsorship from them to reach these so-called “bad” girls. I had sought out the “baddest” I could find, you see. Because I wanted to share with them what I had never gotten early in life, to tap who I really was. It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I would meet the teacher that set me straight on the spiritual road to discovering my inner ‘I’.

The day before the storm, at our regularly scheduled Thursday class, I used the oncoming storm as a metaphor. The rushing-toward-us hurricane was an opportunity for a lesson about choosing to be calm in the face of the catastrophic event that, more than likely, would be roaring toward some place in Florida by dawn. Possibly, ours.

“Charley is like all of life’s many woes,” I told my yoga-girls that Thursday before the storm was due to hit. Then I proceeded to remind the girls, encourage them to “stay within your inner ‘I’ like we’ve practiced in each of our previous classes.

“I’m here to remind you, honestly, how all humans get to choose to be focused within, even in the midst of horrific outer-chaos, no matter what’s happening outside ourselves. These events, these Life-storms, are a constant. We get hit by storms of both natural causes or people-made all the time,” I spoke lightheartedly in our opening circle, not scaring them, but wanting the girls to be fully aware: They always have a choice.

there's always hope

there’s always hope

“Even if the eye comes here tomorrow, you’ll be absolutely safe inside these walls.” Miss Ursula assured them. She knew because she’d done extensive renovation work a couple years earlier. “When the storm hits, and it most likely will get pretty scary, girls, now you won’t be worried, knowing how safe this building is. If you remain calm, you’ll be given the chance to enjoy the power of Nature, coming so close to you, I’m sure. For most of you here today, you’ve never witnessed such a phenomenon.”

She looked around at her wards at the daily community meeting she was holding the day before the storm, before its devastating eye would be forecasted to directly hit their tiny speck on the map. Against all odds. The worse happening, to them!

“Knowing you’ll be safe frees up your mind. Now you have the choice to tune into something much greater than what might happen on the outside of us, when we’re hit by this humongous storm. Knowing you’re safe, frees you up to choose to not let your emotions carry you away, into the danger-zone of life’s outer, swirling chaos,” Ursula ended her preparatory talk that Thursday before Charley was due.

All the girls nodded their heads. They were happy to be reminded that they have this choice. To not be frozen in fear, or worry, or anxiety, or any other negative, heart-clamping feeling.

In class that Thursday before the hurricane, Katy, the star student of the yoga class who was also alpha-girl at ABG, shouted to the others, “Let’s not be stupid! Let’s do what Miss T says.” I smiled. All the girls respected Katy. She was the biggest, sturdiest, and oldest: the baddest of the bunch. Plus she was the only one who ever tried to run away from ABG, during an hard-earned home pass. Of course more time was added on to her sentence when she was caught and returned to lockup.

Alex nodded her head vigorously. She was to be released soon. She’s one who told me when she first came to class: “Doing yoga is the only thing that makes me happy. I used to be a cutter. Watching the blood ooze out where the razor cut me used to be the only way I could ever feel anything before. But now, I have yoga. I’m doing yoga for the rest of my life on the Outs.”

Also in class that day was the gang girl called Shay, whose real first name was the literary wondrous one of ShakespearesDelight. Hardcore Gangsta, her hood’s tats ran down those skinny, no-muscle arms of her looking more like a vertical brocade. Yet she was the most vocal in defying all other gang girls who “diss me for doing this wimpy ass yoga shit,” she’d report in our opening circle with a shrug and a rough laugh. At the back of the room Mr. Lawrence looked up at this use of foul language, and scowled, wondering, as he always did, if he should give Shay one of his usual “criticals,” a serious-offense recorded mark that particular grumpy guard was notorious for dishing out too easily.

Profanity was not allowed at ABG. Nor was physical contact. But in yoga class we did both: we talked down-n-dirty at our opening circle … before we got into our “yoga groove” and often, but only after getting a girl’s permission, I made adjustments to her pose.

There’s another reason why I chose to teach these particular girls. People often wonder why I was drawn to teaching girls in heavy-duty detention. I love and accept all young people who get in trouble, because that was me. I wished someone had guided me when I was going through my tough times, exactly like they were.

In class I revealed to each and every new girl—”I’m just like you guys. Yeah, I was a teenage alchie, then a druggie semi-criminal, too, before I decided to change. The only different between you and me, girls, is—I didn’t get caught nearly as young as you guys did. That’s why I chose ABG—to be with you, who most people have given up on—to share what I have to offer. Because finding out who I really was, learning to tap my inner power, after getting sober first!, is how I changed from my resentful, scared, former bad-girl ways—to who you see before you today.”

Eyes always popped open at these opening remarks of mine. I never elaborated even when pressed. I gave just enough away about my colorful past to entice, to create equality, to form bonds of solidarity, these caught, so-called bad-girls, and me—their former-wayward, now mostly-straight yoga teacher.


I’ll post a link if you want to purchase a copy for yourself, very soon! Check back, sign up for LordFlea posts here, or … go to my website and sign up for my info e-mails and book updates. Lots of exciting events coming up! Interviews, podcasts, giveaway contests! Sending LOVE to you! LordFlea aka teZa

PURPLY front cover in the I

in the 'I' ... easing through Life-Storms, a nonfiction spiritual adventure by teZa Lord, aka LordFlea

‘I’ — the MOST important thing to know

look deep within---it's YOU!

look deep within—it’s YOU!

To know your own self, and to love that self within, is the most important thing for any of us to do in life. This is the highest achievement one can have, ever! Seriously. All the titles, degrees, uber or simple contributions to humanity, celebrity or public recognition, or none at all, add up to a pile of beans if a person hasn’t yet met their inner ‘I’ — the eternal, magical Self (the Higher Self) that resides within each of us.

This ‘I’ is also called Self Love. And it’s true what they say, you know. It’s impossible to love anything or anybody else if a person hasn’t yet learned to love their own Self. Because we are all reflections, mirrors of each other. If you learn to love that essence within, your true Self, you can see that love in another person reflecting back, or the entire family of humankind, including both its foibles and greatness.

I’ll give myself as an example. Once upon a time I somehow got stuck in self-loathing. Circumstances in my early life took me there, and it took me quite a while to even recognize I was “stuck there.” My parents did the best they could, but they were dealing with the demons of my dad’s alcoholism, a real family-wrecker. Addictions of any sort are.

By the time I reached adolescence I wanted to shut off the noise of self-hatred, so I became a teenage drunk (drugs weren’t available back then in the Stone Age) and began to numb the self-loathing. Having always loved making art, I pretty much documented my journey. From that place of utter and complete inner confusion, to finally reaching a bottom, and then being fortunate and humble enough, desperate enough, to ask for help. And getting it! Pursuing it! Luckily, I had great teachers. My journey, my inner journey, knowing who and what I am, began when I chose to put down the drugs and alcohol that had ruled the entire first half of my life, from age fifteen to thirty-six. Earlier, I never thought I’d ever make it past my 21st birthday, so intent was I about obliterating myself because I couldn’t take the pain of living.

That is when my spiritual journey began. As a sober person. Then I began to have a love affair with my “inner Self” — the real me — not the “bad girl” one my harassed and distracted (by their own isms, intolerance, and judgment) parents told me I was. I realized that my inner Self and All around me were One and the same. We are all connected. I felt it! Now that I no longer held a shield between myself and … this existence called life.

No matter how, which way, or when I tried testing this theory of Oneness, I experienced it viscerally. But only after I put down the self-loathingness of my using chemicals (and bad relationships) to put myself down. My work changed. I took all the pre-‘I’ stuff to the dump. From then one my work has honored the sacred in ordinary life.

we are ONE: what affects one of us, affects us ALL

we are ONE: what affects one of us, affects us ALL

To know one’s own true Self is the greatest gift we can ever have! And best of all, we can give it to our own Self. You don’t need someone to hand it to you. You don’t need to “earn” it. It’s every single person’s birthright, to explore this inner Self, what I call the ‘I’ within.

Now I’m publishing a book about that journey within! It’s a journey to consciousness in the disguise of a story about how I taught yoga and meditation to teenage juvies in a hardcore lockup. And the first thing I told all my students? “I’m just like you are … only I didn’t get caught as young as you did!”

Heal Psychic Wounds

We all have to Heal Our Psychic Wounds

I’m just days away from the actual publication date, when the book will be uploaded to Amazon! I’m so excited, because this book is the culmination of, literally, 30 years of work. Not just the sitting down at my desk and writing the true story, the dialogue quirky characters speak contained within this nonfiction narrative, but the years before that, of having worked on my own inner Self. The decades it took to for me to learn to let go of self-hatred and embrace Self-love.

I’ll be sharing where you can purchase this book very soon, my friends! There will be a 5-day period on Amazon when you can purchase it digitally for only $.99!! Imagine! But you can also get a beautifully printed (on demand) tree-book. You’ll get 30-years of LordFlea’s development, all for a price less than a cup of Joe at Starbucks. Isn’t that ironic!?

I love this age we’re living in. My book launch is completely through the internet, so spread the word! shout it from the rooftops! Visit my mothership (yes, LordFlea is really teZ-ahhh!) or use the contact sheet below, and sign onto my Army of Love (meaning, join my email list, ha!). That’s so I can keep you posted about upcoming events, interviews, and other cool things I plan on doing. Like the TWO BOOKS I’ll be publishing as soon as in the ‘I’ is birthed. That’s right! I’m busy!

I’m also in the middle of making an audio-book! Many of you might prefer to hear me read the story, complete with all the animated insights of a love-to-read-aloud person, not to mention the author herself.

My consort Carter and I made a movie together and I love acting! We have been reading to each other in bed (besides other things there) since we married, twenty-six years ago. I was 7 years into my new life of “loving my Self” when we got hitched. And I can guarantee you — I would never have been able to even recognize him as being “a lover” if I had not done the previous Self-inquiry, introspection, and purification that’s part of getting rid of crap we don’t need, the psycho babble stuff, and embracing the soundless, wordless, blissful state of knowing my true Self.

A blessed day to you, and keep coming back here for updates on …. the book! check out the glorious endorsement Yann Martel, author of Life of Pi graciously gave In the ‘I’!!

in the I COVER

contact me here if you wish to sign onto my Army of Love!