Feeling, Being Open, Willing to Change

unveil your true Self!

Sharing the Mystery with YOU!

Hello Dear One,

For several weeks now I’ve been clearing my life, my desk, my mind of leftover stuff. Mostly the remnants from my last book project. In the ‘I’: Easing Through Life-Storms is a great success (rave reviews!) — and now I’m beginning my next book.

nurture the world

nurturing the world with shared ideas

When I began my indie-publishing endeavor I knew I’d publish three books in quick succession because I like trilogies. Things in life often come in groups. Five ocean waves always seem to travel in a group. Twelve months and astrological signs, apostles, a dozen eggs and recovery Steps. Three is, of course, a holy grouping found in the Trinity. Before Christianity’s there was the triumvirate divinity, a combined ONE 3-headed “godhead” of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva in ancient India’s mystical search for meaning. Ancient Egypt also had a triangle of supernatural power: Isis, Osiris and Horus. In today’s world we have threesomes everywhere we look. Here’s three random examples from the real world:

  • high, low, and average in sports, language skills, culinary arts, etc.
  • democrats, republicans, and independents in USA politics
  • male, female, and in-betweeners in gender identity

Watch that third peak at Matchu Picchu!

After I finished the first book, a nonfiction narrative, of my planned trilogy, I assumed I would quickly publish the second, also a nonfiction that I’d nearly sold through a literary agent the year before. But then something happened that showed me this was not what life had planned for me.

How could I tell that life’s plan was different from “my own plan”? Ahhh, this is the most crucial question of all, one that I grappled with when I first set out on my spiritual quest of dedicating my life to serving the greater good. Dedicating my life to serving God’s will, not my own.

I remember when I first had to answer this question, “Is this my will or God’s will?”

Choose Happiness and Love over Sadness and Fear

This inevitable showdown that anyone on the spiritual path experiences, occurred for me when I first put down getting intoxicated. Suddenly I was faced with the very serious dilemma of deciding “What do I do with my life?”

I was given advice, thankfully. “Check out how you feel about everything before you do it.” But this is only possible after … our feelings have become our trusty companions.

Seems awfully simple, doesn’t it. But … here’s the trick. Before putting down booze and getting high, whose jobs are to numb, anesthetize, and drown out feelings — I never knew how I really felt about anything. Because that’s why addicts/alcoholics drink and drug — to get away from our uncomfortable feelings!

Lord Flea has done it again!

lemmeouttahere! Feelings HURT!!

So the more I ventured into the new realm of Planet Sober, as I called being “natural” and drug-free, the more I got in touch with my feelings. Some of which were pretty painful. Left-over stuff from bad experiences, maybe even previous lifetimes, who knows where they came from? Things I hadn’t processed, let go of, forgiven, or … figured out. Or realized they couldn’t be and I just had to accept them as … part of my psychic makeup.  This is how I came to embrace the fact that yes, I am slightly nuts. But what artist of any worth isn’t? Really? Glad you agree. Ahem.

The process of getting in touch with my feelings was thankfully swift and, as I said, guided by seasoned mentors. I spent a lot of time asking questions. I sought advice from those I admired. I listened to advice. I applied suggestions to my life. Assiduously. I meditated a lot, chanted names of the Divine, contemplated, and journaled till my hand  and behind cramped solid. In time, I got to know and trust my feelings as situations arose, one by one. I got to “test” my feelings. After much testing, I learned I could always trust that my feelings (the gut voice kind) were always the “correct” decision for me.

dharma brat images 7.09 077

rolling through the waterfall-feelings of life

Until … I arrived here, at today. Today I honestly trust whatever feeling arises, because I have “done the work.”

So, getting back to my trilogy plans. I had it all figured out, right? WRONG! Life happened, not my ever-so convenient plans. Things were revealed to me through other people that the planned second book of mine was NOT the right one to do, not right now at least. At first I thought, “Oh SHIT!!” How can that be? I’ll do it anyway! My publication plans rest on quickly getting the next book together, and this one is … ready to go. With just a quick overall edit, to make sure it’s in topnotch form.”

Well, after hearing more messages from “other people” (close to me) and also listening more closely to “my gut” (the so-called “mouthpiece” of our feelings) … I decided that maybe my well made plan was not the way things, the trilogy specifically, ought to really be.

So I played around with some other ideas. I had plenty of ideas to choose from, some well formed, some in infancy. Some old, some new. I even re-read old awful and amateurish manuscripts of mine that I thought were likely candidates to take the place of my “well made plan” candidate. But … it wasn’t until today, just a few hours ago, in fact, that suddenly I had the ALL CLEAR signal from my gut that … indeed, I had alighted upon the “correct-for-NOW” decision. A choice that came completely as a surprise to me, out of the blue, but when it appeared … immediately felt “right” with my gut-detector.

What does this ALL CLEAR signal of the gut feel like?

First and fore-mostly, it’s a feeling. It’s not a thought, not a vocalization, not an intention or focus written out, like a fortune cookie’s. Yes, that feeling can eventually be reached by speaking aloud (sharing with others) or writing one’s thoughts out (blogging, storytelling, etc.) or even by participating in casual conversation. We always want to pay attention to what comes out of OUR own mouths. Because sometimes we hear things we say to others that we didn’t know we felt, not really, until our feelings get spoken-aloud-to-others, safely, without any threat of reaction.


the energy of spoken/written words, “the matrika shakti”

This is the magic of the sharing process. That’s why “no cross-talk sharing” in the Twelve Step Programs works so wondrously, and are deeply healing. Because, when a person feels absolutely SAFE about what they are saying won’t be “judged” or “commented upon” (which is cross-talk) s/he get to hear how they really feel about something. I vividly recall, in my early days in the 12 Steps, hearing myself share, then being absolutely blown away  by … “I didn’t know I felt like that!” … immediately afterwards! It is truly a magical process, sharing aloud. I highly recommend it for anyone who is struggling with inner conflict of any sort. But choose trusted, safe people to do it with, please!

So the trilogy is now in its second phase of operation. I won’t reveal what the second book is about (other than “the healing of our human environment”) because I feel that talking about a writing project before it’s in its final stages is … akin to letting go of the contained energy needed to produce the magic of an insipired work.

Stay tuned for how this second book’s journey goes, because I love sharing with you. Even if it’s not about what I’m working on at my desk, there are a kazillion other things to commune about, aren’t there?

Let me know how you feel. SHARE with me here, c’mon! Here’s an easy form for you to do it. What you write goes only to me, privately, and won’t be public, ever.

Sending each of you my Love, wishes of fulfillment, and shared waves of JOY

LordFlea aka teZa Lord



experiencing heaven in chile

santiago is so different from buenos aires, cordova and mendenez, the three argentinian cities we’ve been travelling around the past week. here, people are not so unsettled by the current chilean government, whereas in argentina, people are worried, still, about the corruption of the current leader, president christina k, as they call her. in chile, a woman is also the president, president michelle they familiarly call her.  it is moi interesante to be travelling in two countries where the political leaders just happen to be women. this situation is good for these otherwise very macho latino places, and good for the world also. there seems to be a pleasant, trustful casualness with having a woman in charge, as if she stands for our mother, our auntie, or, in christina’s case, with her long flowing hair and silk suits, as she’s very glamorous, our well heeled girlfriend.

this morning we jumped on rented bikes and toured the city. everyone is very friendly here in chile, as they were in argentina as well. in chile the people are more indigenous looking, compared to the more european looking people of argentina. a lot of peruvians and bolivians have come here to work in chile. we met a young woman from peru who was our waitress. she and i made a date to take a yoga class together on wednesday. wherever i go i try to find the yoga classes, even if i don{t understand the language…yoga is a language of itself.

we’re enjoying being in a place, unlike america, that doesn’t have such strict “laws” about what a person can, or ought to do. for instance, yesterday we saw a man, a quite elderly man, who was bathing–completely nude–in a public water fountain. oh how i wish i had my camera ready as we sped by! the old man, as i looked in the rear window, was bent over scrubbing his feat, and his bony old back, the flesh shining in the afternoon sun, was in stark contrast to the dark patina of the nude man and nude woman in the sculpture of two lovers in the middle of the fountain. this would have been a terrific photo! but i will try to make a drawing of it someday. inspiration…wherever one looks. art is everywhere.

we spent yesterday talking to local artists, filmmakers, a farmer who lives up north, in la serena. who treated us to a delicious meal of  fresh fish. but best of all…lucky me, i had the opportunity to have two hours by myself, while my traveling companions went off for a meeting. so what does lordflea choose to do when i have uninterrupted time to myself, in a strange city? or anywhere, for that matter?  of course if you{ve been reading my blog you know i choose to do yoga, non stop, quietly, pleasurably, at my own pace.  pure delight to me is practicing the disciplines of yoga (not only the poses, but breathing, chanting–seeing all as God Incarnate–positive thinking, learning to discriminate right from wrong, losing oneself to the Higher Self of meditation, etc.) is, without a doubt, the single most pleasurable activity in my life. lordflea’s ideas of FUN is to be able to move my body in an exquisitely mindful manner, synchronized with my deep breathing, strengthening my muscles, fortifying my emotions, making more intense my connection to the Higher Self, that resides within all of us.

i’m no different than anyone else. it’s just that choosing to live as a yoga person makes my entertainment choices more precise. ha ha! call me a cheap date!

practicing the disciplines of yoga such as performing  poses with intent, with mindfulness, is the best way i’ve ever found of developing real happiness.  believe me, yoga changes a person. first you realize you have real power! then, with more understanding,  more experience doing the practices, doing hatha yoga becomes like praying with your body. this, my friend, is how i’ve found is the best way to praise  the connection between body, mind and the eternal, unlimited Source within us all, which i choose to call Spirit.

whenever i travel i’m always grateful that, early in life, i had the privilege to be introduced to yoga. as a teenager, in fact. because i’ve never found anything that gives me as much pleasure…and keeps the body in tune as well. all around me complete chaos can be erupting…as last night the country was going crazy with shouts of glee as chile won over peru in a soccer playoff…but in the safe, serene and privately holy tabernacle one can create within one’s own Self, simply by practicing yoga with mindful effort of moving the body combined with concentration of the mind, using deep breathing as intentional accompanianment, these simple poses remind us that the human body has many unlimited capacities that remain untapped until we try to do things like a sustained pose, an asana.

all these things come together–body in a pose, breath being regulated, mind relaxed and focused– and … well, i guess i have to say that the result is complete ecstasy. nothing short of the most glorious experience one can have. here i am, traveling to outrageously exotic places, and … it ‘s funny and weird and wonderful, but it’s also true…the most fun i have is when i do my yoga practice in a quiet place, a corner of a public park, a hotel room? i’m laughing, because it’s rather ironic, isn’t it?

and here i must say that doing yoga is not worth counting a pile of beans unless one is committed to being sober. swearing off getting high, being intoxicated on alcohol or drugs of any kind, just ruins the connection that practicing yoga gives a person, as a reward of their efforts. other addictions, such as to food, sex, negative thinking, etc. etc. all have to be dealt with before the subtleties of practicing yoga can truly be enjoyed. why not start today, to prepare yourself for this incredible opportunity…to know the Truth that resides within all of us. it’s the best kept secret of all…one that makes the current Secret, of book and movie fame, a cartoon of what actually is possible with our human abilities. it’s a well known fact that we humans use only a small part of our mind’s capacity. yoga helps us tap that potential.

of course i adore meeting new people, finding out what others eat, play, do with their own energies, and think important.  don’t get me wrong, i love all of life, and visiting other places is such a special pleasure of itself.

but the ultimate experience in my life has to be, that no matter where i am, no matter whether it’s home or faraway, i can tap the inner Source…and feel completely in tune with all that is.

what a gift. to have been given the insight that life is so powerful! that, by meditating, we can tap the very source of all creativity, of all power, and it’s all within each one of us. yoga has been a gift in so many ways. first and foremostly, hatha yoga, the physical aspect of yoga which mostly means doing the poses, this practice first saved me from so much physical pain i suffered in my youth, from scoliosis. and then, as i grew to understand the purpose of doing the poses, the actual scriptural philosophy behind why we should both to do the poses, which has to do with the importance of meditation, andthe  right understanding that’s contained within the earliest scriptures (the vedas, upanishads, yoga  and shiva sutras, the bhagavad gita, etc.), which contain the core teaching of yoga…my life became more calm, more complete.

modern yoga people often forget: the purpose of doing the poses is to help our bodies not give us any pain, or distraction, as we sit for meditation.

asana, the word for poses, means “the seat.” Asana is also the same word used for the seat one sits upon for meditation. so….when we do the poses, we are preparing our physical selves to journey to the Inner Realms. And if we don’t have a comfortable seat…well, we won’t have the very best experience, will we?

what could be better in life, than to take advantage of the access everyone of us has to the very Source of life…and enjoy this connection, the inner connection, wherever you happen to go? I mean, this is a gift. Some people may get to this inner place by other means, but for me i’ve found yoga gives me “the most bang for the buck,” as my friend Rama says.

While my companions were off last night, i spent hours working with my body, synchronizing my breath with my movements, stilling my always inquisitive mind…and finally arriving at a state of what i consider to be all our birthrights, as human beings…i experienced complete and utter accord with the Source of all. i hope this doesn’t sound pretentious…i’m just being honest…but what i felt as a result of performing my asanas with my entire focus…was nothing short of sheer bliss. Truly. i’m not joking. doing yoga correctly gives the practitioner the BEST high ever!!!

in short…i was in heaven, right here in santiago chile.

and then…back to the body! a nice meal. a good night sleep. some cuddling with mi amor. in the morning, great chilean coffee, a leisurely bike ride through a busy cosmopolitan city, enjoying new music, new customs, a great climate, conversations in other languages, thoughts of politics and unprocessed local food.  participating in how the world spins, no matter what–whether we’re in peace or  at war, suffering oppression or mad at corruption or blessed to be a citizen of an enlightened society, such as we all feel obama has brought us to, in America.  the breath of the world is discovering the ins and outs, the expiration and the inhalation of  humanity’s journey, as we grow closer to the next stage we’re obviously headed for on this glorious planet.

as we learn to not allow others to control us, and as we let go of needing, or wanting to control others–we are allowed to become the spiritual beings having a human experience we really are.

from within my own self, having developed the still center of a yoga practicioner’s perceptions, i can be safe even in the middle of an emotional hurricane, detached while others are blown this way and that by the actions of others all ’round them. yoga has taught me how to observe it all, be the Witness, smile at everything and feel part of it all, yet remain unaffected by the negativity that so easily brings people to a state of fear, anger, sadness, wanting revenge, and all the other negative emotions that ruin the possibility of each one of us creating heaven while still living life, as it is, on Earth.

In meditative yoga, we are always hungry for more. there is always so much more we can learn. knowledge is ever expanisive. the inner power leads us to our Truth, whatever that may be, for whomever. Truth is so varied, but the Oneness of All is fact. How can I say this? Because it is my reality. not only have I experienced it, but others who are on the same path as I have, as well. the unlimited possibilities of consciousness is true. It’s true for anyone, if only they wish to go within, where the key to this Truth resides. All a person has to do is want to experience Truth, then be willing to do the work (meditation, etc.) that will show you the way to your Inner Power.

life is like the billboard i saw today, of a sushi place, here in santiaga…it looked like a woman seductively reclining from afar, but as i came  closer i realizes her body was made up of slices of various types of seaweed wrapped rolls…she was a sushi goddess!

see! even in santigago chile, things are not what they appear to be.

un buen dia…living in the Light in santiago, lordflea