Keep Goals Open-to-Change … but Have ‘Em

nurture the world

nurture the world

If you have a certain goal (mine is communicating my ideas via art and books), keep that close to your heart. A goal is like a point of light toward which a blindfolded person (each of us) can direct our steps that we choose to take. Don’t limit yourself to any picture you might paint for yourself, about what you think a perfect future holds for you. Along the way of this journey—of getting-whole and getting-healed, nurturing yourSelf, and then someday being able to nurture others as well—you’ll be inspired and influenced by things you might never have thought would interest you back when you started this Self-discovery process.

Here’s another example of why it’s important to keep our options open and have no expectations.

My friends Rhea and Petur have for years been deep-water sailors. Recently they told me of the time they offered berths for rent, to help fray expenses of long-distance cruising in the Caribbean. One man showed up at their seventy-foot sturdy wooden ketch expecting a pleasure cruise, complete with catered five-course meals, deep-sea fishing, and relaxed stops at every port for some wholesome, duty-free shopping. The reality of living aboard a real sailing vessel during a long, arduous, deep-sea voyage was something he hadn’t even researched. His expectations were set inordinately high, in other words. So when the reality of living aboard a working vessel set in, this man was incapable of enjoying the vast and incomparable minutiae of an ocean-cruise, especially with such experienced sailors as my friends as guides. Because he couldn’t let go of his expectations, the man’s trip ended up miserable for him and taxing for the rest of the crew.

the time to nurture the world is NOW

I’m writing an ebook!

“Nurturing Self, Nurturing Others”

the time to nurture the world is NOW

the time to nurture the world is NOW

This post is an excerpt where I’m discussing how to the third of the only 3 Non-Rules needed to raise kids (from my years of spiritual stepparenting, being Angel Mom). But first, here are the three in case you need to start working with them in your own situation. They work!

#1 Non-Rule: See God in Each Other

#2 Non-Rule: Listen and Do

#3 Non-Rule: Hands, Feet, Mouth and Words to your own Self

We could summarize how to take thethirdNon-Rule into the world by saying:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” — practicing the Golden Rule, in other words.

How can we say it any better? I don’t think there’s a better way that what the Golden Rule so succinctly states. In all the world religions there is a version of the Golden Rule, Stated either in its negative or positive fashion.

Because this is already a well known adage, and most people believe they live according to the Golden Rule anyway (or would like to think they do) that’s why we urge everyone, young or old, religious or non-affiliated, agnostic or atheist, faith-based or no faith, or trust only in science and intellectual proof of your personal beliefs, people from all walks of life, all ways of living, and from all the corners of the globe—we invite everyone to:

Sign the Charter for Compassion and Live Compassionately!

Get involved in this international grassroots movement (begun in 2008 by a joint venture of many international sources) that promotes the universal, non-political, non-religious understanding of how we can apply the Golden Rule to modern life, no matter where you live, no matter by what standards you live, we can change the world—right here, right now.

Visit the Charter for Compassion’s website and COMMIT to living compassionately. The Charter will be explored in more depth later in our discussion on nurturing.

we all THINK we live compassionately -- but do we, really?

we all THINK we live compassionately -- but do we, really?

Of course kids look at our behavior all the time, relying on signals and unspoken communications as well as directly spoken messages for how they ought to behave right now, to get clues about how to act later, when they grow up.

When you extend your love and compassion beyond your immediate family, by helping others less fortunate than yourself in any way you can, you teach an indelible lesson to your child(ren).

By refraining from judging others, bad-mouthing others’ behavior, complaining and/or whining about the state of the world affairs, or your neighbor’s weird lawn ornaments, and instead, get into doing and thinking about positive acts toward making our world a better place—this is not only the best way to teach your ward(s) that life is more than just about your own little life, your family, your familiar environment … but about all of humankind everywhere. The entire planet, including the living organism known as Mother Earth. A truly involved and evolved (spiritually enlightened) person cares about the fate of the entire world.

You, as an adult who lives in human society, may not need the “hands, feet” part of this helpful hint of how to nurture. But keeping your thoughts and words positive and uplifting, you feed the solution of our world’s problems rather than add to the burden of our world’s already overwhelming challenges in the years and decades ahead. This how each of us can apply this important Non-Rule to everyday life outside the raising of child(ren) or the uplifting of our own Self.

Remember that everything you say, or think for that matter, sends energy out into the world. Your words and thoughts are symbolic seeds of your intentions.

If you speak negatively, you are adding to the world’s dilemma. If you train yourself to speak positively, and learn to meditate, thereby gaining the ability to re-train your thinking to focus on positive, uplifting things—you are doing yourSelf a great service, giving your child(ren) a terrific boost to their self-esteem and starting them off on the right foot to becoming helpful citizens of the world—and, lastly, you’re helping the future of the entire world.

Everything counts! Every thought, word and deed, adds up!

Keep your words as positive as possible. They are a reflection of the state your mind is in.

Choose to CHANGE—start nurturing yourSELF right NOW!

Choose to Change—and start nurturing yourSELF right NOW!

Choose to Change—and start nurturing yourSELF right NOW!

In the process of nurturing, many positive patterns are developed in a human being. Think of the much-loved infant that gets constantly cuddled and adored, surrounded by smiling faces and constant attention. This is the kind of support you will be giving yourself, and anyone else you choose to nurture, in the process of embracing both self-development and helping others. Both these acts, nurturing yourself and nurturing others are inextricably linked. You can’t practice one without practicing the other. You may, however, focus entirely on nurturing your own SELF first, if you wish. Especially if you think you have been lacking in this area previously.

As an aside, when I use the capital to write Self I do that purposely. The small “s” self I regard as the emblem of a person who lives predominantly from ego. Ego is okay in small doses, for without it we would not be who we are. We need a healthy ego to develop into mature individuals. But that part of us, our personality which psychologists and philosophers call ego, must adjust to the greater good in order to grow into a healthy, spiritually fit, emotionally balanced adult. The spiritually and emotionally healthy individual is the kind of person I refer to as having a healthy Self.

This is what we shall accomplish in our journey here: together discovering a way to live from our Higher Self and cast aside the old, never-fulfilling, always-painfully lacking smaller, lesser self.

By the way, it’s the lower self that tells us to eat too much, drink too much, take drugs, gamble, shop, etc. to numb our pain, whereas our Higher Self is that part of us that says, “Hey! It’s only life! Lighten up! Focus on the positive, let go of the negatives. It’s all about choices, sweetheart.” That voice is part of you. That positive, fun-filled inner voice is the Higher Self that resides within every human heart.

Most humans don’t like change, and nurturing certainly takes effort, changing negative traits into better ones for adults, and guiding children for those who are in that role. Those of us who are, or were once addicted to feeling bad-sad-mad, often resist that every person has the choice to feel good—or not. Some people simply don’t want to believe that by choosing to change we can claim our birthright. Others kid themselves that happiness is illusory, or false, or a drawback to life rather than an respectable, attainable asset.

Whichever type of person you are, whether you’re someone who’s addicted to change or someone who’s stubborn about changing, or a non-believer of the greater possibilities positive change rewards us with—sooner or later something happens in life that makes all of us want to be different than what we have been up to now.

Once upon a time I was a change-junkie, so in order to embrace the up-till-then, elusive-to-me inner happiness we’re speaking of here, I had to change from—you guessed it—changing so much! I had never found, no matter what different country I was in, what new occupation I tried, or which next relationship I embarked upon next—I always felt, deep inside, that something was terribly lacking in my life.

Others who are not the addicted-to-adventure types such as I, those who are less spontaneous, perhaps a tad more wary of trying new things, who rarely venture from their comfort zones—all of us have the exact same feelings as everyone else. All humans share the life journey of trying to discover some modicum of simple satisfaction.

All humans want, and deserve, to be fulfilled and—for lack of a better word for this inner state of contentment—experience plain old happiness.  Nevertheless, in certain religious belief systems contentment is considered neither necessary nor humanly possible.  If one looks elsewhere, however, we find philosophies that have existed for thousands of years that say the exact opposite—that all humans are born with contentment as their very achievable “birth right.”

The Sanskrit word Satchidananda is my favorite choice for describing this inner state of human feeling that takes only effort to achieve. It translates as Sat – Beingness; Chid – Knowledge; Ananda – Bliss.

What a lovely thought, eh? That just by being alive we can attain the kind of knowledge that will reward us with … bliss. Bliss is simply another word for contentment, aka happiness.