in the 'I' ... easing through Life-Storms, a nonfiction spiritual adventure by teZa Lord, aka LordFlea

‘I’ — the MOST important thing to know

November 8, 2017Leave a comment

look deep within—it’s YOU!

To know your own self, and to love that self within, is the most important thing for any of us to do in life. This is the highest achievement one can have, ever! Seriously. All the titles, degrees, uber or simple contributions to humanity, celebrity or public recognition, or none at all, add up to a pile of beans if a person hasn’t yet met their inner ‘I’ — the eternal, magical Self (the Higher Self) that resides within each of us.

This ‘I’ is also called Self Love. And it’s true what they say, you know. It’s impossible to love anything or anybody else if a person hasn’t yet learned to love their own Self. Because we are all reflections, mirrors of each other. If you learn to love that essence within, your true Self, you can see that love in another person reflecting back, or the entire family of humankind, including both its foibles and greatness.

I’ll give myself as an example. Once upon a time I somehow got stuck in self-loathing. Circumstances in my early life took me there, and it took me quite a while to even recognize I was “stuck there.” My parents did the best they could, but they were dealing with the demons of my dad’s alcoholism, a real family-wrecker. Addictions of any sort are.

By the time I reached adolescence I wanted to shut off the noise of self-hatred, so I became a teenage drunk (drugs weren’t available back then in the Stone Age) and began to numb the self-loathing. Having always loved making art, I pretty much documented my journey. From that place of utter and complete inner confusion, to finally reaching a bottom, and then being fortunate and humble enough, desperate enough, to ask for help. And getting it! Pursuing it! Luckily, I had great teachers. My journey, my inner journey, knowing who and what I am, began when I chose to put down the drugs and alcohol that had ruled the entire first half of my life, from age fifteen to thirty-six. Earlier, I never thought I’d ever make it past my 21st birthday, so intent was I about obliterating myself because I couldn’t take the pain of living.

That is when my spiritual journey began. As a sober person. Then I began to have a love affair with my “inner Self” — the real me — not the “bad girl” one my harassed and distracted (by their own isms, intolerance, and judgment) parents told me I was. I realized that my inner Self and All around me were One and the same. We are all connected. I felt it! Now that I no longer held a shield between myself and … this existence called life.

No matter how, which way, or when I tried testing this theory of Oneness, I experienced it viscerally. But only after I put down the self-loathingness of my using chemicals (and bad relationships) to put myself down. My work changed. I took all the pre-‘I’ stuff to the dump. From then one my work has honored the sacred in ordinary life.

we are ONE: what affects one of us, affects us ALL

To know one’s own true Self is the greatest gift we can ever have! And best of all, we can give it to our own Self. You don’t need someone to hand it to you. You don’t need to “earn” it. It’s every single person’s birthright, to explore this inner Self, what I call the ‘I’ within.

Now I’m publishing a book about that journey within! It’s a journey to consciousness in the disguise of a story about how I taught yoga and meditation to teenage juvies in a hardcore lockup. And the first thing I told all my students? “I’m just like you are … only I didn’t get caught as young as you did!”

We all have to Heal Our Psychic Wounds

I’m just days away from the actual publication date, when the book will be uploaded to Amazon! I’m so excited, because this book is the culmination of, literally, 30 years of work. Not just the sitting down at my desk and writing the true story, the dialogue quirky characters speak contained within this nonfiction narrative, but the years before that, of having worked on my own inner Self. The decades it took to for me to learn to let go of self-hatred and embrace Self-love.

I’ll be sharing where you can purchase this book very soon, my friends! There will be a 5-day period on Amazon when you can purchase it digitally for only $.99!! Imagine! But you can also get a beautifully printed (on demand) tree-book. You’ll get 30-years of LordFlea’s development, all for a price less than a cup of Joe at Starbucks. Isn’t that ironic!?

I love this age we’re living in. My book launch is completely through the internet, so spread the word! shout it from the rooftops! Visit my mothership tezalord.com (yes, LordFlea is really teZ-ahhh!) or use the contact sheet below, and sign onto my Army of Love (meaning, join my email list, ha!). That’s so I can keep you posted about upcoming events, interviews, and other cool things I plan on doing. Like the TWO BOOKS I’ll be publishing as soon as in the ‘I’ is birthed. That’s right! I’m busy!

I’m also in the middle of making an audio-book! Many of you might prefer to hear me read the story, complete with all the animated insights of a love-to-read-aloud person, not to mention the author herself.

My consort Carter and I made a movie together and I love acting! We have been reading to each other in bed (besides other things there) since we married, twenty-six years ago. I was 7 years into my new life of “loving my Self” when we got hitched. And I can guarantee you — I would never have been able to even recognize him as being “a lover” if I had not done the previous Self-inquiry, introspection, and purification that’s part of getting rid of crap we don’t need, the psycho babble stuff, and embracing the soundless, wordless, blissful state of knowing my true Self.

A blessed day to you, and keep coming back here for updates on …. the book! check out the glorious endorsement Yann Martel, author of Life of Pi graciously gave In the ‘I’!!

contact me here if you wish to sign onto my Army of Love!

Ask mySelf, “How Am I Doing?

August 14, 2017August 15, 2017Leave a comment

with each body movement, be aware!

I love picking a different theme for the weekly Santosha (contentment!) yoga class I teach at Discovery Yoga in St. Augustine. It inspires me to write a post about the subject, here on LordFlea. This past week I chose “Self Inquiry” and during our class we already explored how this topic applies to when we’re doing a yoga practice. I’ll share a little about that, and our next post will be … how to use Self-inquiry to deepen our spiritual practice.

First … in hatha yoga (the general all-encompassing Sanskrit term for the physical side of yoga, including positions (asanas) and anything related to body wellness … it’s extremely helpful to always ask our Self whenever we get into a position, “How Am I Doing?”

The reason I use the capital “S” Self for this question, is because most folks who aren’t already in a state of awakened consciousness don’t bother asking themselves the question, “How am I doing?” If I were to ask someone who’s not yet interested in awakening their spiritual side, the question would be more like, “How are you feeling today? Are you interested in getting to know that higher Self of yours, that you keep hearing about in the mindfulness world? Or are you happy staying in your little self, safe and … well, in denial of your higher spiritual side — your Self?”

A person who has not yet asked themselves the question: “What is the difference between my little self and my so-called higher Self?” might want to start right now. Let’s apply this question specifically to … how we’re sitting (or standing if you happen to be). Because I’m talking about using this Self-inquiry in a yoga class, we can start with the position your body is in right now when you’re reading it. Even if you’re sitting at your computer, or riding a bus.

An aware and awake person (their higher Self, that is) is conscious of many things. The more we open our consciousness, our awareness, to what’s around us, the more details and nuances of life become accessible. So let’s focus on our body’s position. That’s easy, and it’s fun! If you’re sitting (or reading) take a moment as you read this and check these things:

is your spine straight?
is your neck aligned with the spine (not too far forward or backward?
are you breathing through your nose? If not, close your mouth, please.
are your opened eyes resting on one spot? (please stop reading for a second, and do this now, thanks)
is your core engaged, or not? look below for how to engage the core, anytime!

I like to teach basic yogic principles, even to a first-timer. Here’s how I’ve come to make it easy to remember.

LordFlea’s (teZa’s) ABCDs of an aware and awakened yoga approach to the physical practice of hatha yoga:

Always, I suggest a student remembers their
Breath, their
Core (the inner lock called the mulabandha, engaged or ready-to-be) and their
Drishti, the easy focus of the eyes and a relaxed, pleasant-looking smile

If we focus on these simple things in any pose, we will benefit much more from each and every thing our bodies are tasked to do. So, let’s start with our position right now, shall we?

If you’re sitting, Always remember to focus on your Breath. You can do this in-between your tasks, or as a constant walking-meditation. Once you focus on your breath you won’t be wasting time on day-dreaming, worry, guilt, or any worthless waste of precious energy, not to mention time.

Next, think about your Core. Whether you’re sitting or standing right now, squeeze that inner lock right now! Go ahead, give it a squeeze! (to engage the “inner core, the true core of every person, pretend you have to pee really badly, but you have to hold it till later. That’s right! Go ahead! You know how to engage those muscles deep inside that no one but you knows you’re engaging. Yes, that is the mula (root) bandha (lock) that we use in yoga to stabalize any pose. Without this internal lock, balance especially is next to impossible. With some poses the core is not engaged. Awareness makes us know when to engage our core, or relax it.

Next, where are your eyes’ looking? Well that’s easy if you’re reading this. But when you’re not reading ask yourself, “Am I looking all around” and if you are, DON’T (unless walking in dangerous neighborhoods when you need eyes on the back of your head). Having your eyes focused on one exact spot is called the Drishti. Having a pleasant expression on the face is part of a yogi’s drishti, our outward facial appearance.

It’s a good way to nurture being in a better mood, to keep a little “buddha smile” on your face. Fake it till you make it. It works! If you “fake a smile” you will let go of feeling out of sorts. Try it.

Iyengar’s drishti … OmGuru!

Okay, getting back to Self-inquiry in a pose. You are standing or sitting, and you check that you’re aware of your breathing, and your core is either engaged or ready to be, upon need — and your drishti is nice and easy: eyes focused, lips gently upturned. Now … you check what’s happening with your spine.

It it aligned, not slouched or bent, and you remember the neck is the spine’s extension, nice and easy, it’s floating above the column of stacked vertebrae. And now, what about your arms? Are they engaged, or loose? If you’re carrying something, are you balanced? Not too much on left or right side? Distribute and re-adjust your body’s weight according to what you discover. Now be aware of your legs. Are your leg muscles engaged, or are you loose? Whichever you are, be “aware” of it! This body-mind exercise increases awareness in all other respects as well as posture-consciousness.

We start with the body, to gain awareness of greater things.

This is Self-inquiry … first to be applied to how our body is doing. At any given moment, especially before you go to sleep, ask yourself, “Am I in a good, healthy position?” Ask and your answer is, no, then make adjustments. Sometimes it’s simply a small movement of an inch or two. Or a hand turning outward instead of inward (the sign of rounded shoulders is hands that face backward, a real no-no for proper spinal alignment). You might want to engage your core, so that you have better balance (especially if you’re riding a bus or subway standing up).

Next post we’ll discuss how to apply Self-inquiry to our internal state, our psychological and spiritual well-being. Until then, make every attempt to be more aware of how your Body is doing by … asking yourSelf these simple questions.

Leave me a note and tell me how this post makes you FEEL. I love hearing from you! And visit my main site tezalord.com to sign up for my mailing list.

Love All Ways,

LordFlea aka teZa

Learning to Live Spiritually from Nature

July 28, 2011August 2, 20111 Comment

We are One with All

In many cultures the belief is firmly established (recorded first by ancient Eastern mystics in 1000-400 BCE yogic scriptures: the Vedas, the Upanishads; as well as core to the oral tradition of Native American beliefs and other indigenous People throughout the world) that all things in existence—everything, without exception—are Interconnected.

The brain cancer my friend has is no “accident.” No dis-ease, any good or bad occurrence for that matter, is an accident, but rather the direct response, or consequence, of invisible forces at work. In the case of cancer it could be defective, inherited genes, or—as I suspect is true in my friend’s use of the toxic process she unwisely chose to make her astounding woven copper sculpture—the horrific results of one’s own actions. Or another’s action, or lack of, upon us. Certainly we all know stories of how people fall deathly ill from society’s lack: Chernobyl, for instance; Love Canal, another; the list goes on sadly, ad infinitum.

We do have the ability to reverse ill effects inherited from defective genes as well as we can choose to be smart, and more aware of how to take precautions about the ills spuming from our toxic world. The Wise Ones have always shown us how we can burn off bad karma by doing good deeds (performing tapasya, as described in yogic scriptures) or making amends. However, the process must begin with awareness. Nothing changes unless we, each one of us, decides to Wake Up!

In other words, we can transform bad things into being catalysts for good things by awakening to a higher understanding, by committing to acting more consciously, more aware, instead of closing our minds and our hearts to life’s infinite possibilities all around us.

Only when we’re closed to the possibilities of change do we succumb to negative forces like fear, depression, dis-ease, anger, judgment, and other distraught, nonproductive states.

Whether my friend Maya will be able to overcome the challenge of her terminally diagnosed illness or not, remains to be seen. Many of us working with the concept of choosing to perceive life as a spiritual journey, not just a worldly, physical and intellectual one, we firmly believe in the impossible happening: miracles if you will, happen in even the most dire of circumstances. Wouldn’t you want to believe in a miracle, if faced with the terminal diagnosis Maya does?

What has already been done can be used to create new and better possibilities. We can choose to work hard to balance negatives with positives. Look to Nature as proof positive of how perfectly the world mirrors the cause and effect of positive versus negative actions. Tsunamis and earthquakes kill and plunder, yet they create space for renewal and regeneration in every instance. The evolution of the world’s countless species, scientists tell us, happens by adapting to conditions that are harsh, deadly, toxic. Without change, everything faces extinction, even hope.

Nothing ends. Everything keeps evolving, recycling, metamorphing.

Nature balances Herself. This occurs time and again. Storms. Droughts, Floods. Wild Fires. Ice Ages. Plagues. Species’ Extinction or Evolution. All these headline events are completely natural happenings of Nature’s cyclic patterns. Spurts of growth, overpopulation, human-produced pollution—similar age-old, manmade patterns that result in equally devastating cycles that mirror Nature’s own.

Cycles of life are constantly in motion. Birth, Life on Earth, Death. The part in between Death-and-Life we don’t know too much about—yet. Even if you believe in an afterlife, whether you trust or fear you’re heading for heaven or hell, these concepts I share here will greatly enhance your current happiness factor in spite of, or in addition to, your preferred beliefs. Religion is not being discussed here; spiritualizing the planet is. It’s that simple.

What I wish to share is offered as a proven, tested belief system. All ideas I write about are supported by personal experiences, both mine and others beside me, who help to light the path-of-the-seeker. Many of us choose to set out on our own personal quests to answer life’s big questions. I believe life is filled with magical, mysterious happenings—right here on Earth, in this country, this town, this street, this house where I live, at this desk from where I’m writing. I believe in unlimited possibilities starting with wherever we are, right now.

While reading these words, please try to approach these concepts from another angle than you ordinarily allow your beliefs to roam. Why not? What have you got to lose by trying on some new way of thinking? It’s as easy as experimenting with a new style of clothing that just might spark up your self-image and bring heretofore unknown joy to your life.