All around me everywhere people are involved in the holidays, but this year is different for me. All my energies, literally and figuratively are focused on different kinds of things to which I’ve ever dedicated myself. NEW to me, this season’s holiday.
I am celebrating the Great Gift of Love’s Compassion. This is my gift to you, and the entire world.
The rest of the world swirls around me a-gaggle in holiday cheer or denial, people rushing, horns honking when usually there’s more patience–and I am slightly out of synch, here and now, at peace with my decision to not do a thing more than smile and sing along and nod to others’ good cheer.
I made a forced, very conscious, think-about-for-long-time kind of choice. Over a month ago Mom had her “incident” and became deathly ill. Right then I made up my mind to focus on healing her and keep up the final-final editing of the book I’m nearly at the finish line with.
Mom’s health is still grave, but hey! When you’re 96 every moment is a gift. Her mind is sharp but her body is sadly paralyzed from waist down. For a previously to a month-ago completely independent person, this condition is synonymous with being in jail. Yes, there’s hope. But it’s all hard work for mom and her caregivers. That includes me. Her body has become my mother’s challenge, her no-fun prison. Eve’s days are filled with hours of therapy: physical, occupational, and others. Her legs awaken, milometer of nerve ending connecting by milometer. Instead of gardening, fishing, creating books and holiday full-course meals of her own, coming home at midnight sometimes with a bucket full of fish–mom continues fighting for her life and her freedom.
Her health and happiness are my only gifts, for the person who brought me into this world. She deserves my full attention.
Well, nearly full attention. Of course I still have my darling consort, son, and now a returned-to-the-hearth daughter with her son, my grandbaby. And … the Book, my book, that’s being birthed right now.
I don’t usually write about my own life so much here in LordFlea, but use this platform to share more universal aspects of my life’s experiences, so I’m not going into detail of my day-to-day caretaking of mom here. Let me say, though, that the simple ACT of Choosing–to spend my energies how my heart tell me to, not just following the “Christmas Pied Piper of Holiday Customs” that everyone else is waltzing to, but choosing–where when and how, each day and sometimes each new arising dilemma in the caretaking world I’ve suddenly been thrust into–I’m the ONE who dedicates my energies and focus.
Knowing that each one of us can likewise Choose how to dedicate our life’s energy: THIS is the greatest gift and ultimate freedom in life.
Everyday I try to choose how I’m going to focus this day, this hour, this moment that’s here before me.
Intentionally, I either make a mini- (for the minutiae of life) or a grand-plan (a Goal), splitting my energy between: mental (learn something new, read about new something, speak a new English or Spanish or some other language unknown-before word); physical (when and how long can I exercise the lanky bode today? what new pose am I working toward in my hatha yoga practice?); and spiritual (is my mantra flowing with my breath? Do I need to plug in and “recharge” my connection with the Big Picture and meditate a little? And if so, I connect soon!).
These past weeks I’ve renewed my commitment. It’s taken a while but I finally realize that “to serve” is my life’s purpose. As a dedicated spiritual activist, writer, artist, and now parental caregiver–I finally know how I can serve. Even by writing these words, is one way, an important way to me how I serve. Every time I tweet a positive message is another way, or share a post on Facebook about life’s many joys. Another way I figure I’m serving the Greater Good is by finishing my first book, getting it OUT to the public so others can share the insights that hopefully will uplift them, or maybe make them laugh a little more. And then I have many other books that are waiting in the wings. Book-publishing is my main means of serving at this stage of my artistic path.
Throughout the hours of the day I also serve my family, my immediate circle, and the future of my culture–by practicing Compassion.
I want to serve Mom, my love, my family, and my community just as I’d like THEM to serve ME.
To me, this is the true meaning of Compassion. The Golden Rule says it all in such simple words:
Do unto others as you’d like them to do unto you.
In other words:
What goes around comes around.
I chuckle thinking about something. Whenever a person, whether stranger or best friend ever, says to me, “Gee, you’re really a nice person, teZ” or something embarrassing (yes, it feels weird, I admit) to that effect, I say to that person,
It takes One to know One.
We can’t see the good in others unless we realize the good within our own higher selves.
This is why I know that whenever anyone says or does something nice to me, it’s because they have that same goodness within them that recognizes what I have, and you, too, cultured within our own inner self.
This is a tremendous thing:
Giving our Gift of Compassion …. to the Entire World.
As we say in yoga class and in meditation groups throughout the world, “Namaste!”
“The Light within me recognizes the Light within you.”
I send my Light to each and every one of you, my dear Ones.
With many waves of OMmmmmmLove!
Yuur pal, LordFlea, aka teZa Lord