That’s me, Lord Flea, aka teZa Lord, at the base of the wildest grove of timber bamboos…who grew with NO expectations to reach so high in the sky! Learn from Nature, my friends.
(below is excerpt from my soon-to-be-released nonfiction book: “Family Bliss NOW: a holistic approach to global transformation … one blended family at a time”)
When we begin the process of improving ourselves, choosing to nurture ourselves, we do so because we believe life can be better, or we can at least feel better about it, than what it presently is. In order to believe this, we also have to believe that the “something better” is in the future, not like that of our past. So we begin right here and now the process of training ourselves and changing our lifestyles, expecting a life that we’ll hopefully one day achieve: a happier, more fulfilled, more satisfying, healthier and more balanced life.
Yes, it’s important to have that goal in mind.
But once we’ve established a few basic goals, and come up with some reasonable guidelines about achieving the life we want to one day have, it’s absolutely essential to the success of spiritual growth that we let go of any and all expectations of exactly what details we think that life will be.
How can you have a goal without having an expectation?
The reason we do this letting-go-of-all-expectations in goal-setting is quite simple.
The truth is there’s no possible way, in our current state of contracted thinking and limited beliefs (we’re in the process of getting there, remember) that we could ever imagine the life we’re going to one day have.
Life can, and does, become Heaven on Earth. We must let go of all expectations in order to tune into the IT-factor that makes this transmission of energy a reality. When we’re open to anything happening, with no expectations, an unnamed-as-yet, transformative energy does manifest in our lives. IT most certainly does become one with our so-called practical-rational-logical minds, if we do the emotional-spiritual work of inviting IT into our lives, letting go of expectations, forgiving our resentments, and opening to the Higher Self about which we’ve spoken in previous chapters.
I’ve been involved in the recovery process in for three decades, and over and over I’ve heard people say their present lives are “beyond my wildest dreams.” Everyone who works for change in life gets it. No one ever says, “Gee, this new life I’ve worked so hard at achieving, really sucks!” No. Even if there are difficulties (which will always factor in life no matter what) a spiritually healthy, balanced life, focused on positives and detached from negatives, will exceed any of your wildest imaginings of what’s in store for the person who’s willing to work hard for what they want.
That’s why it’s imperative that we keep options open about what the future might bring.
If you have a certain goal (like mine was publishing books) you want to achieve, keep that close to your heart, like a point of light toward which a blindfolded person can direct each of their steps. Don’t limit yourself to the original picture you paint for yourself, about what you think a perfect future holds for you. Along the way of this journey of getting-whole and getting-healed, nurturing yourSelf, and then someday being able to nurture others as well—you’ll be inspired and influenced by things you might never have thought would interest you, back when you started this Self-improvement process.
Here’s another example of why it’s very important to keep our options open, and have no expectations.
My friends Rhea and Petur have for years been circumnavigating sailors. They told me of the time they offered berths for pay, to help fray the expenses of long-distance cruising in the Caribbean. One man showed up at their seventy-foot sturdy wooden ketch expecting a pleasure cruise, complete with catered five-course meals, deep-sea fishing, and relaxed stops at every port for some healthy duty-free shopping. The reality of living aboard a real sailing vessel during a long, arduous, deep ocean voyage was something he hadn’t even researched. His expectations were set inordinately high, in other words. So when the reality of living aboard a working vessel set in, this man was totally incapable of enjoying the vast and incomparable minutiae of an ocean-cruise, especially with such experienced sailors as my friends as his guides. Because he couldn’t let go of his expectations, the man’s trip ended up miserable for him and taxing for the rest of the crew.
The concept of not having any expectations is closely aligned with not keeping any of your past too near, or comparing to your newly expanding consciousness either. Neither focus on the past, nor project into the future. Train your mind, your consciousness, to reside in the moment before you.
What’s ideal is to stay in this moment, right here, right now. This is what I call the Magic Moment of the Now.
Incidentally, later on, in Part 3 we’ll be exploring a new use of that word. We use NOW as an acronym for the New Order of the World which is happening right here, right now also. But in our discussion here, we mean the present moment, this instant before us when we use the word Now.
A lot has been written about the state of being we call the Now. Now is truly where God, the Divine, the Sacred of life resides. If we live in the Now we have no fear of the future or regrets of the past, that’s simple to understand. The Now is this moment captured and cherished, and when the now is over—the next moment is the next Now.
The Now is all eternity and yet is ever present.
The Now is not only right here … but as soon as this present moment has passed, guess what? The next is still … The Now.
But the magic changes and alters itself, when we begin to think about what’s going to come. That’s no longer the Now, that’s called the future. The only way the Now is really the Now is if you keep it sacred, and tightly focused on this moment, right here, before you.
This is a spiritual practice that—takes practice. But you’ll get the hang of it if you remind yourself over and over to stay in the Now. By the end of practicing staying in the Now for 90 days you will truly be living in the Now—forever.
No, this is not a riddle.
And yes, it is entirely possible to make each moment the magic moment of the Now, even if it sounds like a conundrum of unbelievable dimensions.
Staying in the Now does take practice. Just like such new habits you’ve committed to learn, like being the witness in meditation (following your in-breath and your out-breath); staying positive, finding new positive friends, and … most importantly, being patient with your quest of nurturing your Higher Self.