In the process of nurturing, many positive patterns are developed in a human being. Think of the much-loved infant that gets constantly cuddled and adored, surrounded by smiling faces and constant attention. This is the kind of support you will be giving yourself, and anyone else you choose to nurture, when you have chosen to embrace first self-development, then helping others, and finally reaching out to do global nurturing of all kinds. All three of these kinds of acts, nurturing yourSelf, nurturing others, and nurturing the entire world, are inextricably linked. You can’t practice one without eventually practicing the other. You may, however, focus entirely on nurturing your own SELF first, if you wish. Especially if you think that previously in your life, you have been lacking in this area and are ready to change.
As an aside, I’d like to explain why I use the capital letter “S” to write Self, because I do that purposely. The small “s” self for purposes of our discussion here is regarded as the emblem of a person who lives predominantly from their lower consciousness, sometimes called programming or the ego. Ego is okay in small doses, for without it we would not be who we are. But we need to develop a healthy ego in order to develop into mature individuals. That part of every human being’s personality that psychologists and philosophers call ego, must adjust to the greater good in order to grow into a healthy, spiritually fit, emotionally balanced adult. So for the purpose of our differentiating the spiritually-developed Self from a person’s not-yet awakened consciousness, still immersed in ego and referred to as “self”, the spiritually and emotionally healthy individual in our discussion is refer to as having a healthy “Self.”
The awakening of this Self that resides within us all is what we shall accomplish in our journey here. Together we’ll discover a way to live from our Higher Self and cast aside the old, never-fulfilling, always-painfully lacking smaller, lesser self.
By the way, it’s the lower self that tells us to eat too much, drink too much, take unnecessary drugs, gamble without control, shop as an addiction, and all other negative habits that serve only to numb our pain. Whereas it’s our Higher Self that’s the part of us that says, “Hey! It’s only life! Lighten up! Focus on the positive, let go of the negatives. It’s all about choices, sweetheart.” Each one of us has both aspects, lower self and higher Self. Which voice we choose to listen to, or let rule our lives, and becoming the predominant part of you, and each of us—is entirely own choice.
That positive, fun-filled inner voice is the Higher Self that resides within every human heart. The lower self is the part of you that says, “This is all hog wash. Don’t believe it. Life ain’t that uncomplicated, asshole!”
It’s true. We humans, most of us, don’t like change. And nurturing certainly takes effort. Great effort. We are faced with changing negative traits into better ones for adults, and guiding children, or others, for those of us who find ourselves in that role. If we are among the many who are, or were once addicted to feeling bad-sad-mad, we often resist the concept that every person has the choice to feel good—or not. Some people simply don’t want to believe that by choosing to change we can claim our birthright. Others kid themselves that happiness is illusory, or false, or a drawback to life rather than a respectable, attainable asset.
Whichever type of person you are, whether you’re someone who’s scared, or disbelieving, or addicted to change or someone who’s just plain stubborn about changing, lazy, or a non-believer of the greater possibilities positive-change rewards us with—sooner or later something happens in life that makes all of us want to be different than what we have been up to now.
(excerpted from “Nurturing Self, Nurturing Others” SOON to be available as an ebook. Check back for publishing date!)