it never ceases to amaze me how, when you go public, you are apt to either offend, or appear stupid, or both. as long as i can maintain a sense of humor about rattling other people’s cages, i’ll be okay. but boy, was i tested today.
apparently someone whom i’ve been speaking very highly about in my sharing, mentioning how this person loves Spirit, loves nature, turns out to be–hold onto your hats here folks!–a sexual predator! i won’t mention the name of the person, but i’ve just spent the better part of an hour removing the person’s name from the several posts on my blog where the name appears. horror struck i am, to discover something so ugly, so unthinkable about a person i’ve never actually met, but with whom i’ve developed an interesting long-distance relationship, one that has focused on only things of Spirit, Nature, respecting and living close to the Earth. imagine how dumb i feel to discover this person has a wretched, selfishly deviant personality trait, one that even as recently as this past week caused misery and trouble for many others.
Just shows–even someone who thinks they are, or who aspires to be “natural” can have, still, some very “unnatural” tendencies that need to be worked out. being in denial is a human trait. we all have it, in some way or another.
we’re all human.
surely i won’t be using the offensive name of a predator anymore, but i will, however, talk to this person if the occasion arises, in hopes that offering my friendship might help the person face the darkness that torments. it’s easy to walk away from negativity. it takes more courage, more energy certainly, to attempt to combat negativity with positive vibes.
i had a similar situation with the children i raised. their biological mother was a very negative person, i might even say a sick one, who caused nothing but hell and hardship for the stepparent who took over raising her kids, as she was not given that privilege by the state of Florida. instead of being bitter, or talking badly about the bio-mom, carter and i just showered the kids with love love love, and never spoke badly of their mother (at least not in front of them!). by fighting something negative with equal, or greater amounts of positive energy, we managed to sustain a loving, nurturing atmosphere, one in which kids and adults alike can thrive, and grow into becoming the best human beings they want to be.
so i take this opportunity to thank, again, the person who wrote a comment here on lordflea, informing me of the shocking news of the person i’d been using almost metaphorically, to represent the “natural person.” and if i have offended any others by mentioning this person’s name, referring to the spirituality of Oneness i felt we shared (look at me, even lordflea gets taken to the cleaners, you bet!), i apologize sincerely. i hope this sick person gets better, and i hope i will too.
sometimes we mistake a person’s intent to BE spiritual, with how they work out their earthly karma. i know for myself, and that’s the only person i speak for, i had a LOT of darkness to work out of my aura, system, karma–whatever you want to call it when you’re f—ed up. anyway, i had a big black hole in my heart chambers, being one damaged cookie from what had happened to me too-early in life. the only way i could express the disgust-with-myself that ruled my black heart, was to act out. i had decades of addiction to prove how badly i once embraced the un-enlightened side of my humanity. but now, with 24 years of recovery under my belt, i am a totally different person than i was, in those dark-hole days. i hope i’m a little less driven to commit atrocities, which I did, all because I was angry at the world, and more truthly, angry at having been born.
i will send healing white Light to the person i’ve been informed is living darkly, untruthfully, far from the Light–but who still tries to fool others into thinking he or she (remember, i’m not naming the person!) carries the banner of Great Spirit.
on another subject, carter and i prepare for a long journey, this time to south america. i am very excited, as i’m looking forward to practicing my meager spanish, and learning as much as i can about two new countries, Argentina and Chile. It’s a business trip for my consort, but i will be his bag carrier, hitching a ride with him and his assistant, as i take a break from all this hard book-writing i’ve been doing all winter (oh my aching butt!).
you’ll hear from me whenever i can get to an internet cafe, and i’ll do my best to load up some pics, but…in case i can’t figure that out, at least you’l be able to read about our adventures. maybe i’ll have time to do another post before we’re off.
we leave this friday…anticipation! i love it! the excitment of readying for a major adventure. more than anything, now that our kids are grown and well settled in their chosen fields (both still studying, but focused and grounded, whew!) my favorite thing in the world is to travel. maybe i’ll learn some cooking tricks from my new friends? maybe i’ll find some good bike trails to wipe out on (no no!), maybe i’ll just relax and absorb what this gorgeous earth has to offer. and i accept, humbly, looking forward to having fun!
in the Light, lordflea